I know…

…paying attention to the returns as they come in will only upset me, but at least “man-on-dog” Santorum will be gone. (Glenn Beck just compared Santorum to Churchill. o-kay.) Musgrave possibly. DeWine probably. Sen. Macaca’s gonna be one of those we may still be guessing tomorrow morning. And I’ll still have to live with Arnold.
And that freak of nature Ken Blackwell lost in Ohio. (You know, the one that helped steal the 2004 election in Ohio for Bush.)
I know it’s gonna be a long night: the results, me, and too much beer. I only hope I’m doing a drunken happy dance before I call it.
If you haven’t voted yet, you’ve got til 8… move yer ass.

Ah, technology…

So, I got a MacBook Pro (yeah, new one, Core 2 Duo Extreme Double SuperFast x2 Pro or whatever, dropped from Shanghai and double-boxed with the word “Apple” no where on the outside) and a 30″ Cinema HD Display today. It’s geek pr0n, and trust me, I’m smitten for the time being. So much screen real estate, coaxing Windows into Parallels, fun, fun, fun…

So, I’ve got the latest and greatest, right?

So here’s my conundrum:

I did some “maintenance” on myself today — manscaping, if you will — and why the hell do I have 5 different tools to accomplish that task? That’s right, FIVE. I’m not a fucking Yetti Schmeeve or anything, but jesus christ, it’s just annoying. (And every guy does it, so shuddup, unless he’s a hippie or, perhaps, Chinese.)

Sure, I suppose I could of accomplished it with one, but each has it’s usefulness and efficiency in certain areas. Perhaps I’m just impatient, but with all the technology around us, it seems like I’d be able to get the uberGroomer and call it a day.

But no……..

Home

Finally home from another two weeks on the road. One week in Atlanta, looks like no one’s going to die. And a week in LA complete with $2200 hotel bill. I like this little boutique, but their WiFi sucks and apparently I was put in a room directly under the housekeeping quarters. Much noise and convo en Espanol early in the morning. But the beds are fantastically comfortable, the shower clean and hot — a thankful change from having no hot water in Atlanta. FYI — those exercise freaks who extoll the virtues of cold showers are filthy, filthy liars.

Mason washed my sheets and made the bed, which is nice, except that he somehow put a giant hole in them.

Ordered a new MacBook Pro today, too. Gonna pop my Intel-Mac cherry. Bit miffed there’s no 7200rpm drives with the 15″, but I can live with a 160G 5400. Got a 30″ DIsplay today too, albeit through Amazon to save on taxes. My Apple fetish is very satiated. Of course, now I have t o figure out how to pay my income and property taxes.

Next up: glass of wine and bed.

Awwww… Ferrets!

Yer Murkah

This is your America:

http://bitingbeaver.blogspot.com/2006/09/morality-clauses-ec-and-broken-condoms.html

Folks, the condom broke Friday night and I searched all weekend for someone who could prescribe me EC. It is now Monday and I have to report that I have been unable to find anyone who will write me a fucking prescription for EC. None of the hospitals in the surrounding counties would write it for me. I stopped my search at about 100 miles from my home because my telephone book wouldn’t take me out any further than that.

I have been asked about my sexual practices. Whether I’m ‘monogamous’ or ‘in a relationship’ if I’m married, if I have kids, how many kids I have, if I was raped or ‘traumatized’ but there wasn’t’ ONE question about my health. Not one. The few places that said that they had a doctor who would occasionally write prescriptions for EC told me that I had to ask for that doctor specifically and then they proceeded to tell me that I would be ‘interviewed’ to see if I meet that doctors ‘criteria’ and then they proceeded to ask me all the above questions before telling me that I should ‘try anyway’ and I ‘might be able to talk him into it’.

No Dumping, Psychos, or Drunkards

Also: “Don’t connive at the driver’s violation of the passenger transport or traffic management regulations.”

Friday Night Music w/Roger Waters: “What God Wants”

Jeff Beck on guitar.

MovableType 3

I moved to MT 3, and the spam has been non-stop. This mostly involves me approving no comments, which is a minor annoyance at most, but I wonder what bot the spammers are running against the blog for which they get paid and I get jack-shit? It’s not resulting in PV. I need to dig through the access logs and find out, and then either shut it down or get on the money train. (Sure, I’ll target my own blog with a 100% failure rate and get paid for it. I ain’t stoopid.)

Also, I seem to be targeted with particularly filthy porn: bestiality is a favorite, as are MILFs, transexuals, gay black cocks, all manner of anal, S&M, teens (of course) — pretty much all manner of perversion. Sure, some “herbal viagra,” and even a few for “herbal toenail fungus cures” mixed in, but none of this stuff ever ends up published, so I’ve gotta wonder what perpetuates such a futile onslaught.

(Yeah, I might move to WordPress. We’ll see…)

My Ears!

They burn! They burn!
The honking in Shanghai, even 32 floors up with the windows closed, is absolutely maddening. I can only fathom it means “hello,” “good day,” “your hat is lovely” or something here, cuz it certainly serves no constructive purpose. Stop lights, crosswalks, painted lines in the road — they all mean nothing. Crossing the road, riding in a cab, or even walking on the sidewalk is done at your own peril.
Twice I’ve abandoned cabs as my urge to, um, not die, overtook. Apparently those cabs were meant for blind people.
The drivers who constantly spit out the window are also a nice touch. (Even though the info placard inside the cab mentions drivers are forbidden from doing so, as well as being required to use A/C should you request — they don’t.)
I think I may go ride the MagLev train tomorrow to the airport. Not because I need to go the airport, and not even because it picks one up at a convenient point, but because moving at such a rapid clip is just unfound novelty here in Shanghai.
Unrelated: I found underwear with a ruler in it in Hong Kong. That’s right — it’s “measure yourself” underwear. Other found undies include the sack scruncher, scrotal “blinds,” and the lacy staff sheath. Oh, to have so many upsetting gifts.
I also picked up a novelty penis. Throw it down and it explodes in a big rubber ball on the table, only to re-form all T2-like. What could possibly be more fun for $1?
Only one more full day, then 24 hours of travel to get home. But 3 weeks later or so, I think it’s back to Hong Kong.