Sorry, MSNBC…

Posted by: on Nov 7, 2006 | No Comments

Sonny’s a Republican. The makes-your-skin-crawl variety.

I know…

Posted by: on Nov 7, 2006 | No Comments

…paying attention to the returns as they come in will only upset me, but at least “man-on-dog” Santorum will be gone. (Glenn Beck just compared Santorum to Churchill. o-kay.) Musgrave possibly. DeWine probably. Sen. Macaca’s gonna be one of those we may still be guessing tomorrow morning. And I’ll still have to live with Arnold.
And that freak of nature Ken Blackwell lost in Ohio. (You know, the one that helped steal the 2004 election in Ohio for Bush.)
I know it’s gonna be a long night: the results, me, and too much beer. I only hope I’m doing a drunken happy dance before I call it.
If you haven’t voted yet, you’ve got til 8… move yer ass.

Yer Murkah

Posted by: on Oct 9, 2006 | No Comments

This is your America:

Folks, the condom broke Friday night and I searched all weekend for someone who could prescribe me EC. It is now Monday and I have to report that I have been unable to find anyone who will write me a fucking prescription for EC. None of the hospitals in the surrounding counties would write it for me. I stopped my search at about 100 miles from my home because my telephone book wouldn’t take me out any further than that.

I have been asked about my sexual practices. Whether I’m ‘monogamous’ or ‘in a relationship’ if I’m married, if I have kids, how many kids I have, if I was raped or ‘traumatized’ but there wasn’t’ ONE question about my health. Not one. The few places that said that they had a doctor who would occasionally write prescriptions for EC told me that I had to ask for that doctor specifically and then they proceeded to tell me that I would be ‘interviewed’ to see if I meet that doctors ‘criteria’ and then they proceeded to ask me all the above questions before telling me that I should ‘try anyway’ and I ‘might be able to talk him into it’.

Al and Ann, My Fav Fucktards

Posted by: on Aug 27, 2006 | One Comment

If you click on my fucktards category, turns out you can get a poster of Ann Coulter for the low, low price of $4.87! She’s as emaciated and skeletal as you please. What a steal!
I have this theory that Ann really needs some black cock. Specifically, Al Sharpton’s. I know, you’re gonna have to work with me on this one, but I think we can reduce political discourse in this country by 23.8% if we just all look the other way while Al anally violates Ann. (I conducted a scientifical study and all. Real scientifical. Wait.. remember.. I said work with me. Oh, and I asked. Turns out Ann LIVES for this kinda action — “hard, rough, and forget lube! Only Satan-worshiping Bin-Laden lovin’ Democrats use ass lube!” Uh, her words, not mine.)
Thankfully, an Al Sharpton for President 2008 sticker can be had for only $3.95.
Get both.
Recommended activity: pin the giant black wang on the boney pus-filled ass.

When the Leeves Broke

Posted by: on Aug 26, 2006 | No Comments

Really, just sad.
The PR campaign was just gross. Bush, Cheney showing up — many days after the fact — trying to look involved. Thankfully, a few noticed:

“George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
– Kayne West
“I thought it’d be poetic justice if I quoted the Dick to the dick.” (referring to Cheney’s ‘go fuck yourself’ to Sen. Patrick Leahy.)
“Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney. Go fuck yourself.”
– Dr. Ben Marble
“President Bush can kiss my ass.
The United States government can kiss my ass.
St. Bernard Parish can kiss my ass.
Even though there’s not much left, there’s enough to kiss.
– Cheryl Livaudas

So, they’re angry. And they should be. See why.

So let me get this right…

Posted by: on Jul 25, 2006 | 2 Comments

Israel gets weapons on the cheap from the US then bombs the living daylights out of Lebanon. We give $30M in aid to Lebanon then Newsweek portrays Bush as a decisive leader “handling” the crisis in the Middle East.
37% approval.
Irony, RIP.


Posted by: on Jul 6, 2006 | No Comments

When UCSC Chancellor Denise Denton swan-dived to her death from the 42nd floor of a San Francisco apartment building, the media seemed, well — confused — of what to make of it.
Thankfully, Michelle Malkin has stepped forward to piss all over Denton’s grave — a grave which she may have helped create.

You may have missed this story, but it’s worth a look. It appears that Michelle Malkin is taking some heat from her compadres on the right because she failed to apologized after heaping a great deal of vitriol on a woman who subsequently committed suicide.
Well, now Malkin has lashed back at her critics. Her response? She smeared the dead woman again, calling her a “corruptocrat.”

Vile. What’s next? Ann Coulter, fresh from attacking the 9/11 widows/widowers, plagiarist?
Really, if there is a hell, these people are on the short list…

Stewart takes down Bill Bennett

Posted by: on Jun 8, 2006 | No Comments

I never know why Jon Stewart softballs some asshats then smartly annihilates others, but this segment over ‘gay marriage’ with Bill Bennett made my nipples hard.

“I disagree. It’s a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish.”

Let’s Bomb Iran!

Posted by: on Apr 21, 2006 | One Comment

Sing Along!

Bombed Afghanistan, but gave up the Taliban,
Hey at least this rhymes with “stan” and that’s enough to make a plan
To Bomb Iran! Bomb Bomb, Bomb… Let’s Bomb Iran!
You’re a commie if you doubt and my time is running out,
To Bomb Iran, Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran!

$5000 Bounty

Posted by: on Apr 11, 2006 | No Comments

For Penn Jillette. DEAD.
But thems just jokes.
Loves me some wingnuts.