Mac JS

Alex King did some Javascript performance tests on a variety of Mac browsers: Apple’s Safari, the Gecko-based Camino and Firefox, and the now-defunct Microsoft Internet Explorer. 24fun’s Javascript Speed Tests were used.

Camino came out on top. I’m not terribly surprised by this, as it’s Gecko wrapped in Cocoa for Mac OS X. Firefox was a bit behind, presumably XUL getting in the way, but more surprising was the performance of Safari: just plain dismal. (Safari is based on KHTML, not Gecko.)

Totals are as follows:

Memo to UPN

Stop showing the same damn episodes of The Simpsons!

Episodes from 2001-2003 are endlessly repeated, somehow missing an entire decade of the longest running sitcom in history. Knock it the fuck off already! It fills no less than 3 timeslots per day… and I don’t need to see Bart emancipated by Jane Kaczmarek anymore, okay? No more Simpson family visits to Epcot, and while the Screamapillar episode does bring a hardy har-har, I don’t need to see it again for the 18th time in the last 3 months. Got it? Good.

Oh, and only one Voyager repeat per week, yet The King of Queens twice weekdays? Um, no. Bad UPN, BAD!

That is all. Have a nice day.

Go Vote!

Tomorrow is “Super Tuesday.” Go vote, you wankers… it will only take a few minutes. And remember, if you’re registered as an Independent, you may select an Independent-Democratic ballot. Otherwise you’ll miss out being part of the clusterfuck that is Primaries 2004.

Besides the Preznit wannabes, there’s a bunch of other stuff on the ballot:

• Prop 55: authorizes the state to borrow $12.3B to build & repair schools. This one seems obvious, and there doesn’t seem to be any $400 gold pens and $2000-per-school ashtray allowances for the teacher lounges in this one. A no-brainer.
• Prop 56: lowers the requirement to pass a budget from 2/3rds to 55%. Majority rules, just a little less than before. *shrug*
• Prop 57 & Prop 58: the two are tied and one can’t exist without the other. 57 essentially makes it constitutional to allow a one-time bond of $15B to reduce state debt (the deficit), and put away a tiny amount for a rainy day. 58 resets to zero state, making it illegal once again to use such bond measures. It’s likely these two will pass, but I’m terribly conflicted… the whole fact that you have to make something constitutional in the first place to pass a related ballot measure makes me mondo-suspicious. And while it makes my skin crawl to agree with the Republicans, they’ve got a point when they say we’re doing nothing more than passing our debt down to future generations. It also really does nothing to stop the over-spending that got us here in the first place, basically giving our elected officials a “get out of jail free” card and no incentive to behave themselves going forward. Major Dems, including SuperSenator Diane Feinstein, have come out in support of this one, but I just don’t know… I’m no politician, but this whole mess seems more complex than to be remedied by a quick Terminator-style fix. I am, admittedly, somewhat irked by the repeal of the car tax: yes, it saved me money, but it’s almost perfect in terms of progressive tax, as it’s based on the worth of the car. It was “fair share,” and would of put a lot of money back into the state.
• Measure 2: Raises bridge tolls by $1 for mass transit in the Bay Area. Golden Gate excluded, as it’s already ridiculous at $5 (the bridge was paid for way back in the 70’s). Mass transit good, yes, and $3 going one-way isn’t going to break anyone.

Other regional elections, assemblies, and county measures exist as well. It’s a big ballot. You can see The Chron’s endorsements here, but I’m not saying you should take their recommendations. 🙂

Those Nutty Fundies Down South

Atrios posted a link to an opinion piece from some podunk newspaper in Jasper, Al which offers a solution to all these “activist judges” and the “grievous sin” of homosexuality: execution! That’ll fix ’em!

Fundie whack jobs aside, often carted out, as in this case, is Leviticus 18:22: “If a man lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”

Reading the comments, I found this gem: Apparently “Dr.” Laura’s been spewing similar crap opposing gay marriages and floating the same verse to prop up her argument. Not surprising — her disdain for cake-boys is no secret. But I always find it interesting that Bible verses are conveniently pushed forward as to be taken literally, word-for-word, when it serves one group’s purpose. So a listener decided to take “Dr.” Laura’s extensive Biblical knowledge and literal interpretation to task:

As Heard On Friday, January, 31, 2003: Letter to Doctor Laura from a Bob and Sheri listener!

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. For example, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
However, I do need some advice from you regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19-24.
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

No More Comment Spam?

I’ve implemented a security code against comment spam. Let’s see if it works…

“AOL is realigning its resources”

With those words, I was laid off on December 6th. Yesterday was my technical separation date from the company.

So, for shits-n-giggles, I fed “AOL is realigning its resources” into the Anagram Server.

Some tasty results:

1. Uglier, anti-social regressions.
2. Sacrilegious goriness latrine.
3. Irregular, egoistical nosiness.
4. Arousing in soleless geriatric.
5. Stingers or salacious lingerie.
6. Coarse, gnarlier litigiousness.
7. Neurotic as sillier aggression.
8. Ugliness on a greasier clitoris. (Well then!)
9. Arousing costlier lingerie ass.
10. Sore sneering litigious rascal.
11. A sillier atrociousness nigger. (Yikes!!!!)

Gay Nuptials Continue

SFGate.com:

Two judges refused Tuesday to put an immediate halt to the parade of same-sex weddings taking place at San Francisco City Hall, leaving open the possibility that gays and lesbians will be able to obtain marriage licenses and wed at least until the end of this week.

Superior Court Judge James Warren turned down an anti-gay marriage group’s request to issue an immediate stay that would bar the city from issuing licenses. However, after a 2 1/2 –hour hearing in a packed courtroom, Warren gave city officials an option: “cease and desist” from issuing licenses, or return to court March 29 to explain why they should be able to allow gays and lesbians to marry.

Listen, this “battle” is simple. The court has no business halting something that doesn’t legally exist in the first place. Why would you issue an injunction to something that, at the end of the day, isn’t recognized by the state? Ridiculous. The court is doing their job.

I realize these right-wing groups are all up in arms simply because the “marriages” are happening, but the fact of the matter is, they’re not legal so relax already. The mere thought makes them spontaneously spew bible verses and imaging consummation probably brings a full-on seizure, but this over-reaction to a legal non-event is not likely to work in their favor.

Well, Gavin, I hope your stunt works. I really do. Yes, the current law is discriminatory, but at the moment, you’re pedaling hope without anything legal to back you up. Constitutional laws will override statues, so prove it unconstitutional already and let’s get on with this.

City Hall was at least nice enough to waive the $62 ceremony fee for the first five days, in addition to extending hours on Saturday and Sunday to perform marriages. Congratulations to all 2,636 couples!

It’s Crazy Tasty!

Spam sucks, sure enough, but occasionally you get some winners:

Apparently, Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make me an ordained minister…. in 48 hours! While not exactly the deity I want to be, it’s a step closer, and it includes such benefits as: weddings, funerals, baptisms, forgiveness of sins, and even visiting correctional facilities to “preach the word of God to those who have strayed from the flock.” All for $29.95. Ohhh! Correctional facilities! I’m just tingling with… um… fear? Maybe I can fend off a shanking with the Good Book.

Seriously, I can’t think of anything more unappealing. Well, maybe one thing.

So even spam has got its niche markets. I wonder if the spammer forgives herself after each spamblast?

Speaking of Simpson, The Simpsons is on right now… gotta go.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

For the last two nights, I’ve gotten no sleep due to the incessant rattling of my windows. Stupid wind, stupid storm, stupid weather, stupid cheap windows, stupid ears.

Now, this morning, not only am I tired, but the water is turned off. I’ve got a friggin’ interview today! And the water is turned off! (I live in an apartment, so no, it’s not because I didn’t pay the bill.) I don’t even know how to solve this one. Power out? Light candles — simple enough. With the water out, what the hell am I supposed to do? Buy bottled and use a washcloth? What is this, 1850? Baby wipes? Rubbing alcohol? Good lord, I don’t even know and don’t even wanna think about it.

…praying…