Redneck Math

Posted by: on Nov 29, 2004 | No Comments

In Charleston, SC visiting the fam.
Such friendly folk:

CHARLESTON, S.C. – A Lowcountry legislator says he wants to cut South Carolina Educational Television’s budget after it aired a documentary on gays in the South.
“I thought it was just social, leftist propaganda that they had no business airing,” said state Rep. John Graham Altman, R-Charleston. “They were actively promoting homosexuality as an OK thing to do.”
SCETV President Maurice Bresnahan says his agency isn’t promoting an agenda by showing “We are your Neighbors” as part of its twice-monthly Southern Lens series of stories about life in the South.
The Southern Lens series has featured documentaries on Moon Pies and Holocaust survivors in South Carolina.
Another documentary, “Sentencing the Victim,” focused on the hardships victims endure during criminal trials. The movie, which featured a Charleston woman, is credited with spurring legislators to address shortcomings in the legal process to ease victims’ burden.
All of the documentaries are independently financed and cost the state nothing.
Altman sees the “Neighbors” documentary as an effort to promote a “militant homosexual agenda.”
Altman says if SCETV can afford to produce such programs to influence the Legislature, then it can afford to have its budget cut. The agency runs on a budget of $12.7 million, down from $20.3 million four years ago.

I love redneck math:
Gay + Neighbor = Socialist
Gay + Flower Boxes + Porch Swings = Militant Homosexual Agenda
Googling around, I found several quotes from Mr. Altman whose major concern seems to be the Caucasionally-challenged, though butt-buggery is never far behind:

Meanwhile, outspoken Rep. John Graham Altman, R-Charleston, defeated Charlie Smith, a gay Democrat who has called Altman a bigot. Altman has said Smith contributes to the decay of traditional values.

Representative John Graham Altman III
District 119 – Charleston Co.
Contact Address:
(H) 77 Folly Rd., Charleston, 29407
Bus. (843) 747-6461 Home (843) 763-5313
(C) 306B Blatt Bldg., Columbia, 29211
Bus. (803) 734-2947 Home
Rep. Altman apparently isn’t on the internets.
South Carolina Educational Television Commission
1101 George Rogers Boulevard
Columbia, SC 29201-4761

Ugh 2

Posted by: on Nov 25, 2004 | No Comments

Plane’s now 1:30 late, meaning I won’t make my connection.
It’s undergoing “aircraft service.” In airline speak, this can translated as such:
– Pesky things which tend to put your company insurance in jeopardy: engine failure, landing gear, hydraulics, etc. I’ve seen them fly these wide-bodies trans-con with only 1 working bathroom, so I know it’s not something as trivial as that which horribly inconveniences passengers — it’s just of concern when they might kill you.
– Cockroach infestation (this actually grounded a Delta flight in Atlanta several years ago)
– Dr. Phil arguing with gate agent adamant he is not a “customer of size.”
– Crew still at Power Exchange, whie complaining there’s more tops in Boston.
Oh, there’s my plane… whee!
Oh, and rainman is at my gate shouting out facts randomly as planes glide by:
“780K tons”


Posted by: on Nov 25, 2004 | No Comments

So it’s 6:45am, I’ve been up since 4:15, my plane is already delayed 30 minutes and the dude across from me is wearing a “Revenge of the Sith” T-shirt, his carry-on sporting a giant Xbox logo. I hate him.
It’s gonna be one of those days…
Oh, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I suppose it could be worse.
And why isn’t flightsuit boy serving the troops this year? Could it be that “surprise visit” last year was merely to use the troops as an election prop? No, couldn’t be.
Rev. Falwell is giving thanks, too.

106 Dead…

Posted by: on Nov 22, 2004 | No Comments

…this month. So far.
Why again are we fighting this war? 29 more and we’re #1!
Meanwhile, it’s Groundhog Day. (And overused analogy at this point, I know.) Middle east country. Shadow groups claiming the government is hiding nuclear programs. Bush wants “inspections” if they’ve got “nothing to hide.” Colin’s got a powerpoint deck. Imminent threats.
Porter is turning the CIA into ideological group-think and yes-men. She who thumbed the “Bin Laden determined to attack the US” memo most vaulted to highest cabinet position. Congress unable to pass security reforms. Omnibus bills give back $350B to over-subsidized tax-free corporations. House repeals law which prevents indicted members from serving as leader (now that’s its a Republican). “JFK Reloaded” wants you to shoot the 35th president — a Democrat — more points for being “historically accurate.” Your tax returns available to any member of Congress. The dollar at new lows against the Yen and Euro. China owns $550B of the US — more than the entire US deficit. Congress passes bill to raise debt ceiling to merely pay the interest and keep us from federal bankruptcy.
At least Emperor W has a hand-woven Chilean poncho. Uh huh. He’s got clothes.
Seriously, will we ever pull our heads out? Do we want to be remembered as the civilization which could of been but was too busy chasing our own tails?
Jesus can’t save you now.


Posted by: on Nov 13, 2004 | No Comments

odyssey.jpgIn Gran Turismo 4, you can apparently race a Honda Odyssey minivan. I shit you not.
Yet they dropped the online mode.
THANK GOD we’ve got minivans!

Dear CNN

Posted by: on Nov 5, 2004 | No Comments

Monkeys lack the cognitive ability to recognize irony:


Posted by: on Nov 5, 2004 | No Comments

Link: (emphasis mine)

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — An error with an electronic voting system gave President Bush 3,893 extra votes in suburban Columbus, elections officials said.
Franklin County’s unofficial results had Bush receiving 4,258 votes to Democrat John Kerry’s 260 votes in a precinct in Gahanna. Records show only 638 voters cast ballots in that precinct.
In one North Carolina county, more than 4,500 votes were lost because officials mistakenly believed a computer that stored ballots electronically could hold more data than it did. …

It’s important to note that while most of Ohio uses punch-cards, they are taken to central tally centers where ballots are fed into processing machines; machines manufactured by — you guessed it — Diebold. Machines running Microsoft Windows and using Microsoft Access databases. (Microsoft, security is job #1!) “[Diebold is] committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the President next year,” CEO Wally O’Dell promised last September.
And then there’s this:

MONDAY Nov 1 2004: New information indicates that hackers may be targeting the central computers counting our votes tomorrow. All county elections officials who use modems to transfer votes from polling places to the central vote-counting server should disconnect the modems now.
It appears that such an attack may already have taken place, in a primary election 6 weeks ago in King County, Washington — a large jurisdiction with over one million registered voters. Documents, including internal audit logs for the central vote-counting computer, along with modem “trouble slips” consistent with hacker activity, show that the system may have been hacked on Sept. 14, 2004. Three hours is now missing from the vote-counting computer’s “audit log,” an automatically generated record, similar to the black box in an airplane, which registers certain kinds of events.

I’m not going to tinfoil hat yet, but I’d expect more of this, and the election was only 3 days ago.


Posted by: on Nov 4, 2004 | No Comments

I mean, c’mon, the dude can’t even do the Vulcan hand greeting correctly…

Canada Ho!

Posted by: on Nov 3, 2004 | One Comment

It’s disheartening to watch America vote against itself — against it’s own economic interests, against civil rights, and against the world. It’s difficult to stomach the arrogance of a party universally sporting that same shit-eating grin this morning as they set their sights on a renewed attack on the foundations of this country and its Constitution. It’s inexplicable and maddening, but it’s not the end.
Like a battered spouse who insists she’s still loved, Americans said yesterday they still love George W. Bush. And like that battered spouse, it’s becoming increasingly evident Americans will need to be beaten within an inch of their lives before finally seeking shelter from that which abuses them. For this, I am truly sorry, as I do believe you will receive that beating, soundly, in the next four years. I am sorry for the 55M Americans who tried to stop the abuse only to be trumped by bigoted zealots who pow-wow every Sunday to fear and fight that which has nothing to do with their own personal lives. I am sad for those in 11 states who have outlawed love and commitment. That hate will destroy you from the inside. I am sorry for those who tried to stop Senate candidates who believe a woman’s right to choose is punishable by death.
When I cast my vote yesterday for John Kerry, I cast it in faith that he could lead the country should he become president. Likewise, I have faith in him to make a decision of when to call it quits, as he did a short time ago.
It’s over folks. For now. Rest a few days and let’s prepare for 2006.


Posted by: on Nov 1, 2004 | No Comments

Tucker Carlson just said on Anderson Cooper he thought John Kerry would win.
On his knees early… thatta boy…