Quote of the Day
Direct. No foolin’:
“I was walking by at 8 or so. At for 4 I would be ok. How much did you drink?”
Titles
I was entering a contest over at the British Airways site, and was amused by the list of possible titles for ones name. All 203 of them. I’m quite sure I don’t know what half of them mean… and here I thought I was semi-worldly. Natch, I picked “Rear Admiral.” I’m all class, ain’t I?
Mr
Mrs
Ms
Miss
Dr
Herr
Monsieur
Hr
Frau
A V M
Admiraal
Admiral
Air Cdre
Air Commodore
Air Marshal
Air Vice Marshal
Alderman
Alhaji
Ambassador
Baron
Barones
Brig
Brig Gen
Brig General
Brigadier
Brigadier General
Brother
Canon
Capt
Captain
Cardinal
Cdr
Chief
Cik
Cmdr
Col
Col Dr
Colonel
Commandant
Commander
Commissioner
Commodore
Comte
Comtessa
Congressman
Conseiller
Consul
Conte
Contessa
Corporal
Councillor
Count
Countess
Crown Prince
Crown Princess
Dame
Datin
Dato
Datuk
Datuk Seri
Deacon
Deaconess
Dean
Dhr
Dipl Ing
Doctor
Dott
Dott sa
Dr
Dr Ing
Dra
Drs
Embajador
Embajadora
En
Encik
Eng
Eur Ing
Exma Sra
Exmo Sr
F O
Father
First Lieutient
First Officer
Flt Lieut
Flying Officer
Fr
Frau
Fraulein
Fru
Gen
Generaal
General
Governor
Graaf
Gravin
Group Captain
Grp Capt
H E Dr
H H
H M
H R H
Hajah
Haji
Hajim
Her Highness
Her Majesty
Herr
High Chief
His Highness
His Holiness
His Majesty
Hon
Hr
Hra
Ing
Ir
Jonkheer
Judge
Justice
Khun Ying
Kolonel
Lady
Lcda
Lic
Lieut
Lieut Cdr
Lieut Col
Lieut Gen
Lord
M
M L
M R
Madame
Mademoiselle
Maj Gen
Major
Master
Mevrouw
Miss
Mlle
Mme
Monsieur
Monsignor
Mr
Mrs
Ms
Mstr
Nti
Pastor
President
Prince
Princess
Princesse
Prinses
Prof
Prof Dr
Prof Sir
Professor
Puan
Puan Sri
Rabbi
Rear Admiral
Rev
Rev Canon
Rev Dr
Rev Mother
Reverend
Rva
Senator
Sergeant
Sheikh
Sheikha
Sig
Sig na
Sig ra
Sir
Sister
Sqn Ldr
Sr
Sr D
Sra
Srta
Sultan
Tan Sri
Tan Sri Dato
Tengku
Teuku
Than Puying
The Hon Dr
The Hon Justice
The Hon Miss
The Hon Mr
The Hon Mrs
The Hon Ms
The Hon Sir
The Very Rev
Toh Puan
Tun
Vice Admiral
Viscount
Viscountess
Wg Cdr
Moxie CrimeFighter
[Penn] Jillette, 50, and his wife Emily, 39, welcomed 6-pound, 6-ounce Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette on Friday, according to publicist Glenn Schwartz. It was the first child for the couple, who married last year.
“We chose her middle name because when she’s pulled over for speeding she can say, ‘But officer, we’re on the same side,'” Jillette explained. “‘My middle name is CrimeFighter.'”
Swaggart: License to Kill
The General writes a letter suggesting heterosexually-challenged Paul Crouch of the Trinity Broadcasting Network strike first before Jimmy Swaggart kills him and tells God “he died.”
Fucktardery
Check out this wingnut over at Amazon reviewing Kelley’s “The Family”…
I’m watching Ms. Kelly, on Hardball right now, and Chris Matthews is grilling her with the infamous “unnamed sources”, “logical assumptions”, and flat out lies that compile the content in this book. There’s NOTHING on the record in this book. Quite frankly, Ms. Kelley appeared to be on cocaine herself during this interview. For Amazon to keep this book on the shelves, is Un-American. Many mainstream, “Liberal” news agencies have canceled interviews with her and now she’s suing them. I hope Ms. Kelley gets what she deserves…a lifetime in Leavenworth.
What is it with these people? Life in prison? I just think they need some good ol’ fashioned buttsex…
Why is Daddy moving the furniture and who is Judy Garland?
AL QAEDA PLANS TO DROP GAY BOMBS
Men within 30 miles of the blast will instantly turn queer!
Seems to be working in New Jersey.
I, Boxturtle
Hate amendment goes down in flames (although 48 Yays are 48 too many), but less ye forget…
Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) in a speech to that affable Heritage Foundation:
“It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife.”
What is it with these people and animals? Nutty.
Warning! GOP pr0n follows!
Comcast Jesus
Apparently “cannot be waived” CAN be waived.
Backstory is here, and today I received this:
Dear Steve,
Thank you for contacting Comcast Cable.
I understand you we’re charged an installation fee of $15.99 when all
the technician did was drop off the HDTV box.After careful consideration, and upon reviewing your account, I have
decided to request a credit for your account for $15.99. Please allow
for 30-90 days for the credit to be approved and applied to your
account. I do thank you for your patience.I do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
If you have any further billing related questions or issues you wish to
discuss, please feel free to write back into us.Thank you for choosing Comcast.
Sincerely,
Stephen H.
Comcast Customer Care Specialist
What really irritates me is, whether I’m right or not is entirely beside the point, in Comcast-land, arguing with me is more expensive than just giving me the credit. In other words, the poor get screwed — yet again. Who’s gonna argue semantics over bullshit charges but me (and those like me)?
Mildly ironic, I’m also a “Stephen H.” But still, Comcast: go fuck yourself.
I’m slightly encouraged to take this further — to push for refunds for all those that were charged some bullshit fee when the “cable guy” did little more than drop off a box. I imagine I’m not alone, considering the thought of some sweaty 20-year-old molesting my expensive TV gives me chills. It’s my fucking TV, and I set it up, why do I want you fiddling with it? I’d just rather do it myself.
As I said it before: Comcast, go fuck yourself.
Go Outsourcing!
An e-mail exchange I’m having with Comcast. What a bunch of weenies.
Back story: they dropped off a new cable box the other day, which I just took delivery of and hooked up to the TV myself. The guy was here maybe 3 minutes. For this, I have to pay $15.99 for an INSTALL fee. But nothing was installed. Semantics, I know, but the fee is clearly a rip and, well, they can go fuck themselves. At the very least, I fully intend to use at least $15.99 of their resources arguing this with their dimwitted support staff.
My original query, sent via online web form:
What’s up with the $15.99 “INSTALL” charge for the HDTV box? The
guy was there all of 3 minutes. He dropped the box off and didn’t touch
one wire.
Their reply:
Thank you for contacting Comcast Cable.
We apologize for the confusion, but the $15.99 is the fee for installing
the HDTV box. This fee cannot be waived. We apologize for any
inconvenience.If there is anything else we can help you with, please contact us.
Thank you for choosing Comcast.Sincerely,
Caleb
Comcast Online Orders
Good job Caleb. You da big man around the office, aintcha? You told me!
NOT:
Thank you for your curt and dismissive email.
However, I must point out — yet again — that nothing was actually INSTALLED. I was simply handed a box, which I connected myself. If the $15.99 is indeed for installation, the way I figure it, you owe me $15.99. After all, I installed it.
So to whom should I send the bill?
Thank you.
Family Yokels
Oh, this is rich.
Where to even begin with this one. First of all, what a fucking knob! Can’t say I’m surprised, though. He was always the quintessential redneck: lots of dead stuff on the walls. Stoic drinking. Grunting and pointing. The Confederacy. Big trucks. Overalls. A library of racist jokes. An evil Uncle Jesse, if you will. (That would be much funnier had I gotten to scan the picture out of the paper before it was thrown away.) I remember visiting the Doggy Fight Club when I was little, not knowing its true nature and wondering why it needed to be stuffed away in the middle of nowhere and why anyone would pay $3k for a pet.
Apparently, “Yellow” was the top fighter, who’s pups probably brought in the big bucks. Supposedly the third best place in the country to get your fighting pit, he even refereed fights and had an active business mailing out flyers and advertising the lil’ monsters on the net. And to think I didn’t even get one measly flyer. That’s family for you.
He also ran this message board, which has since been yanked down. (It remains in the Google cache for the time being.)
Facing 68 charges including attempted murder, I think the worst is yet to come: the IRS. This has to have gone on for at least a decade, and I’m guessing like most illegal operations, he didn’t bother paying taxes.
My cousin has always been a very sweet person, so I always considered this a rather serious lapse in judgment… and things seem to be better now since she left him a few years ago. Got to wonder if this had anything to do with it.
Oh, and like two months ago? My dad’s 2nd cousin (I think) blew away his girlfriend then shot himself in a murder-suicide. Again, here in the genteel south — Charleston, SC. Didn’t know the guy, but I think I’ll stay away from any family reunions for awhile.
Soooooo thankful I’m not genetically related to any of this family. I’m a rotten shit for talking about it publicly, but its not like you knew them, huh?
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