..: schmeeve / a blog :..

QotD

Richard Clarke on Olbermann referring to today's Senate Intelligence Report on how the Bush administration lied us into war:

I just don't think we can let these people back into polite society [...] and just pretend this didn't happen. [...] Someone should have to pay.

Um, can I get an AMEN?

Toothpaste Tubes

It's official: the GOP is 100% gay.

After the two men apparently had sex, Castagna allegedly left the hotel room with Curtis’ wallet, the report says. Curtis agreed to give the man $200, which he left at his hotel’s desk, only to be confronted with a demand for an additional $800, the report says.

Spokane Police Detective Tim Madsen wrote in his report that Curtis wanted to keep the whole incident quiet. At one point, Madsen told Curtis that “the toothpaste was already out of the tube.”

Separation Anxiety

Link:

WASHINGTON, DC—A confused President Bush broke free from the restraint of Secret Service agents this morning and ran in pursuit of departing deputy chief of staff Karl Rove's car for several blocks down Pennsylvania Avenue before being outdistanced by the vehicle.

Remembering Falwell

I don't take any particular joy in his death, but I do know if I'd met him yesterday, he'd of deemed me immoral and doomed me to hell. So, well, fuck him.

You can Google around as well as I can to find out what an awful human being he was, but here's a few in memorandum.

"I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!" (you didn't!)

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians ... the A.C.L.U., People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.'"

(in reference to 9-11) "God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve."

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda."

"The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America's free enterprise system and our economic stability."

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."

Oh, and let's not forget his crusade against Tinky-Winky, the purple Teletubby turning your children teh gay.

[ UPDATE: Heh. There's a postmortem protest at 18th & Castro tonight. Hey, boys -- shouldn't you be saving this for Phelps? ]

Technorati Tags: jerry falwell

Road to Redemption Chart

Hmmm... work in progress, but starting a chart here on America's favorite export: blame.

Iraq'd

Seeing as The Decider has decided he can't bother himself with these pesky things during the holidays, it's important to remember that whatever happens, even if there's an army of magical peace unicorns in waiting, the pattern will continue to repeat itself:

1. Declare that we must stay in Iraq to prevent some Bad Thing from happening.

2. Bad Thing happens anyway.

3. Declare that we must stay in Iraq to prevent some Worse Thing from happening.

4. Worse Thing happens anyway.

5. Reiterate sequence.

At no point does the “Sensible Center” consider that the previous failures implicate our ability to fulfill the new mission, which is always paradoxically grander in scale while being a retreat from previous ambitions.

Karl Rove takes bath with toaster

Well, at least he should be.

But, I will not gloat.

Okay, perhaps a little. People I no longer have to suffer:

• "Man-on-dog" Rick Santorum.
• Mike DeWine
• Ken Blackwell
• Richard Pombo
• George Allen
• Gov Pataki
• Gov Romney
• Jon Kyl
• Katherine Harris
• Conrad Burns

Oh, yeah, and Rumsfeld. Buh-bye.

Please, oh God please, let the door hit you on the way out.

*happy dance*

And "liberal" media? We got you too -- we took both houses.

Thankfully, sycophant Lieberman will suck up to the Democrats now that they're in the majority.

My hit list for the next election(s):

• James Inhofe
• Marilyn Musgrave
• Tubemeister Stevens
• Sam Brownback
• "I attack limbless vets!" Saxby Chambliss
• Tom "illegal abortions" Coburn
• John Cornyn
• Peter King
• Saint McCain
• Trent Lott
• Obvious Alzheimer victim, Jim Bunning
• ...and Droopy Dog, Joe Lieberman

But I will not gloat.

Sorry, MSNBC...

Sonny's a Republican. The makes-your-skin-crawl variety.

I know...

...paying attention to the returns as they come in will only upset me, but at least "man-on-dog" Santorum will be gone. (Glenn Beck just compared Santorum to Churchill. o-kay.) Musgrave possibly. DeWine probably. Sen. Macaca's gonna be one of those we may still be guessing tomorrow morning. And I'll still have to live with Arnold.

And that freak of nature Ken Blackwell lost in Ohio. (You know, the one that helped steal the 2004 election in Ohio for Bush.)

I know it's gonna be a long night: the results, me, and too much beer. I only hope I'm doing a drunken happy dance before I call it.

If you haven't voted yet, you've got til 8... move yer ass.

Yer Murkah

This is your America:

http://bitingbeaver.blogspot.com/2006/09/morality-clauses-ec-and-broken-condoms.html

Folks, the condom broke Friday night and I searched all weekend for someone who could prescribe me EC. It is now Monday and I have to report that I have been unable to find anyone who will write me a fucking prescription for EC. None of the hospitals in the surrounding counties would write it for me. I stopped my search at about 100 miles from my home because my telephone book wouldn't take me out any further than that.

I have been asked about my sexual practices. Whether I'm 'monogamous' or 'in a relationship' if I'm married, if I have kids, how many kids I have, if I was raped or 'traumatized' but there wasn’t' ONE question about my health. Not one. The few places that said that they had a doctor who would occasionally write prescriptions for EC told me that I had to ask for that doctor specifically and then they proceeded to tell me that I would be 'interviewed' to see if I meet that doctors 'criteria' and then they proceeded to ask me all the above questions before telling me that I should 'try anyway' and I 'might be able to talk him into it'.

Al and Ann, My Fav Fucktards

If you click on my fucktards category, turns out you can get a poster of Ann Coulter for the low, low price of $4.87! She's as emaciated and skeletal as you please. What a steal!

I have this theory that Ann really needs some black cock. Specifically, Al Sharpton's. I know, you're gonna have to work with me on this one, but I think we can reduce political discourse in this country by 23.8% if we just all look the other way while Al anally violates Ann. (I conducted a scientifical study and all. Real scientifical. Wait.. remember.. I said work with me. Oh, and I asked. Turns out Ann LIVES for this kinda action -- "hard, rough, and forget lube! Only Satan-worshiping Bin-Laden lovin' Democrats use ass lube!" Uh, her words, not mine.)

Thankfully, an Al Sharpton for President 2008 sticker can be had for only $3.95.

Get both.

Recommended activity: pin the giant black wang on the boney pus-filled ass.

When the Leeves Broke

Really, just sad.

The PR campaign was just gross. Bush, Cheney showing up -- many days after the fact -- trying to look involved. Thankfully, a few noticed:

"George Bush doesn't care about black people." - Kayne West

"I thought it'd be poetic justice if I quoted the Dick to the dick." (referring to Cheney's 'go fuck yourself' to Sen. Patrick Leahy.)
"Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney. Go fuck yourself."
- Dr. Ben Marble

"President Bush can kiss my ass.
The United States government can kiss my ass.
St. Bernard Parish can kiss my ass.
Even though there's not much left, there's enough to kiss.
- Cheryl Livaudas

So, they're angry. And they should be. See why.

So let me get this right...

Israel gets weapons on the cheap from the US then bombs the living daylights out of Lebanon. We give $30M in aid to Lebanon then Newsweek portrays Bush as a decisive leader "handling" the crisis in the Middle East.

37% approval.

Irony, RIP.

Disgusting

When UCSC Chancellor Denise Denton swan-dived to her death from the 42nd floor of a San Francisco apartment building, the media seemed, well -- confused -- of what to make of it.

Thankfully, Michelle Malkin has stepped forward to piss all over Denton's grave -- a grave which she may have helped create.

TAP:

You may have missed this story, but it's worth a look. It appears that Michelle Malkin is taking some heat from her compadres on the right because she failed to apologized after heaping a great deal of vitriol on a woman who subsequently committed suicide.

Well, now Malkin has lashed back at her critics. Her response? She smeared the dead woman again, calling her a "corruptocrat."

[...]

Vile. What's next? Ann Coulter, fresh from attacking the 9/11 widows/widowers, plagiarist?

Really, if there is a hell, these people are on the short list...

Stewart takes down Bill Bennett

I never know why Jon Stewart softballs some asshats then smartly annihilates others, but this segment over 'gay marriage' with Bill Bennett made my nipples hard.

"I disagree. It's a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish."

Let's Bomb Iran!

Sing Along!

Bombed Afghanistan, but gave up the Taliban,
Hey at least this rhymes with "stan" and that's enough to make a plan
To Bomb Iran! Bomb Bomb, Bomb... Let's Bomb Iran!
You're a commie if you doubt and my time is running out, To Bomb Iran, Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran!

$5000 Bounty

For Penn Jillette. DEAD.

But thems just jokes.

Loves me some wingnuts.

Down the Drain

Tom DeLay will not seek re-election.

Actually, this is not a good thing, as it would dealt him a crushing defeat in his backwater GOP stronghold come November. Apparently he is that smart.

But Tom still faces jail. And he's way more the power player than Abramhoff. I sincerely hope this doesn't derail his inevitable incarceration.

Ronnie Earle: do not back down. Put this asshole in jail.

Some love -- waxing Nostalgic.

Helen

After watching these clips yesterday with Helen Thomas going after Bush, and with her as a guest with Wolfman Blitz, I can come to only one conclusion: I'd totally bang her.

The Abu Ghraib Files

Salon's got 279 photos and 19 videos from Rummy's favorite little pet project in Iraq.

If you weren't disgusted enough, some choice quotes from the nutosphere:

[The US] "does not permit, tolerate, or condone torture under any circumstances"
- Condi Rice

"brilliant!"
- Rush Limbaugh

"more outraged by the outrage than we are by the treatment."
- Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK)

"There was underwear on the head of one of them. We're not raping and killing anybody."
- Sean Hannity

"hazing"
"fraternity prank"
- Rush Limbaugh

"Clearly, more pictures of Abu Ghraib help the terrorists, as do Geneva Convention protections and civilian lawyers. So there’s no question the ACLU and the judges who side with them are terror allies."
- Bill O'Reilly

UPDATE 8:02pm: How could I forget the biggest fans?

"We do not torture"
- George W. Bush

"this new paradigm renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions."
- Alberto "Abu" Gonzales

Big Brother

Cue Rockwell...

US Marines: Wonkette - no; convicted Watergate felon G. Gordon Liddy -- YES!

Homeland Security notified of JCPenney Credit Card Payment

S. Dakota Legislation to Ban Most Abortions

Somebody's Watching, indeed.

New South Dakota License Plate

Well, at least they're trying to be 'hip'...



South Dakota passes abortion ban

AOL and Wingnuts

What is it with AOL and wingnuts? (Disclaimer: I used to work for them, so I have an account gratis.)

I've always noticed how AOL is just flooded with rabid, even violent, conservatives. It's the Mickey D's of the internets, I get that, but it's still got tens of millions of users.

Just a small sample of tonight:

A poll asking who did a better job in New Orleans, Mayor Ray Nagin or George W. Bush. 66% went for the Shrubbery. (Yes, the poll is retarded, as it should of really been two polls asking for the performance of each.) A CBS poll has 58% of Americans disapproving of W's response to Katrina. Why so lopsided?

A story about a Cindy Sheehan rally in NYC being shut down and a demonstrator being arrested for an "unauthorized sound device," sparked message board threads with such titles as:

• FUCK CINDY CUNT AND HER LIBS COWARD FAGGOTS
• 'BIG NOSE' DISGRACES SON!
• Sheehan rymes [sic] with Nazi
• Liberals will be the down fall of this nation
• BIN LADEN WOULD LOVE BIG NOSE CINDY
• CINDY SHEEHAN A NATIONAL DISGRACE
• Should have hanged the traitor
• Tired of this Sheehan Bitch
• ONLY SHOVED A BIT? SHE NEEDS A BULLET!

My favorite? A thread simply titled Whore. Ahhh.... my heart is full.

Sure, there was some more sane responses, but there was a lot of this crap. I mean, shitfuck, this woman's son is dead, and she's pissed off. How is patriotic to strip this woman's dignity?

Is the rise of Nazi Germany not taught in school anymore? Is Orwell banned in red states? Is irony dead?

This shit's just fucking scary. (And yes, I realize there's probably a correlation between AOL's demo and the Right's anti-intellectualism... but still)

W Wee-Wees

You know, for the last day I've been looking at this photo...

U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005. World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan's vision of freedom from want, persecution and war.

...and I just can't it get it out of my head. Bush wrote "I think I may need a bathroom break?" to Condi. This is the leader of the "free" world -- telling Condi he needs a potty pit stop. Does he need permission? Did Condi excuse him? Why is it a question rather than a statement? (Few things are more absolute than the urge to take a piss.) Was it code for a quickie in the bathroom? Just unfuckingbelievable.

Obviously, he was bored in this meeting. (It was the UN after all, an organization he uses only when convenient.) But you voted for him. It's been 10 months and most of you are now against the Iraq war, think the fed fucked up the Katrina response, and his popularity is lower than Nixon during Watergate. BUT YOU VOTED FOR HIM! Where the hell were you in November? It's not like the Shrub went bad since re-election.

I just don't get it anymore.

Rehnquist Dead

Link

...and, yes, what's happening in New Orleans (and the entire Gulf Coast) is a terrible tragedy. Once I stop vomiting from the bungled federal response (it's apparently New Orleans' fault they don't own amphibious military vehicles), Chertoff blaming poor people for not owning escape Escalades, endless press conferences, and the staged photo ops (levee repairs, hugging dark people, aerial map "strategy" sessions), I'll have a lot to say about it.

You can donate to the Red Cross here.

Wingnuts are Fun!

OMG. This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages -- a comic depicting a bleak future run by liberals! (Ohhhh... scary!)

I mean, this is genius:

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists which have yielded governing authority to the United Nations. It is up to an underground conservative group (known as F.O.I.L.) led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden�s plans to nuke New York City.

Go ahead. Tell me that isn't the greatest comic ever... go ahead. :-)

I think this guy may have cornered the 2005 Schmeeve Tardo of the Year Award.

Vice President Moore? Oh, lord, this thing just kills. I'm buckled over here...

Fucking Brilliant

First, a few quotes:

Never met a Democrat he couldn't casually accuse of treason.

If she didn't have tits, she'd be stuck writing at Townhall.com.

Bilious Minnesotans led by someone who nicknamed himself "Hindrocket."

Site gives off a strong scent of roast pork.

...he's described himself as a "law and order conservative" (code for putting blacks in jail) and praised torturing prisoners before executing them.

Death to Muslims! Death to Muslims! Death to Muslims! It goes on like that.

Darfur is an especially favorite topic, because it both shows Islam in a bad light and has the advantage of not having to actually do anything.

What's this, you ask? It's the Conservative Blog Taxonomy!

HOT KARL

Blumenthal in an op-ed over at Salon:

The sound and fury of Rove's defenders will soon subside. The last word, the only word that matters, will belong to the prosecutor. So far, he has said very, very little. Unlike the unprofessional, inexperienced and weak Ken Starr, he does not leak illegally to the press. But he has commented publicly on his understanding of the case. "This case," he said, "is not about a whistle-blower. It's about a potential retaliation against a whistle-blower."

If you're in a lurch about what happened and when, he paints a detailed-enough picture. Whether or not Rove is fucked remains to be seen -- but this thing is getting legs.

What's curious is the press suddenly seems to be doing their job because, you know, THEY were lied to. Forget lying to the American public. Doesn't matter. The almightly White House press corp has suddenly been personally dishonored -- and, by golly, they're not gonna stand for it! This says a lot about our press. Remember the epic Clenis epidemic of the 90's had the same MO. Nary of any interest until "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Fucking prima-donnas...

Senior Journalistologist

bahahahahahahhahahaha... last night's Daily Show:

Well, Bush has a real problem on his hands here, John. What honor should he bestow on Karl Rove?

George 'Slam Dunk' Tenet got us into Iraq on mistaken intel, he got the medal of freedom.

Condi Rice sees a memo warning Bin Laden determined to attack the United States, ignores it -- BOOM -- gets kicked upstairs to Secretary of State.

For a bungle this bad, I think we might be looking at Chief Justice Karl Rove.

I'm gonna miss Ted Hitler, er, Stephen Colbert...

Jail Bird

I've struggled with this over the past few weeks, weighing my loathsome distaste for Miller and her WMD-baiting and the whole journalistic protection thing, but I think Will Bunch nails it here:

That is why the ability of reporters to keep the identity of their true sources confidential is protected by shield laws in 31 states and the District of Columbia (although not in federal courts). Without such protections, the government official would not be able to report the wrongdoing of a president (remember "Deep Throat," the ultimate confidential source?), nor would the corporate executive feel free to rat out a crooked CEO. The comfortable and corrupt could not be afflicted.

But the Times' Judy Miller has not been afflicting the comfortable. She has been protecting them, advancing their objectives, and helping them to mislead a now very afflicted American public. In fact, thinking again about Watergate and Deep Throat is a good way to understand why Judy Miller should not be protected today. Because in Watergate, a reporter acting like Miller would not be meeting the FBI's Mark Felt in an underground parking garage. She would be obsessively on the phone with H.R. Haldeman or John Dean, listening to bad gossip about Carl Bernstein or their plans to make Judge Sirica look bad.

In the run-up to the Iraq war, Miller -- working with her "sources" inside the Bush administration and their friends in the Iraqi exile community like the discredited Ahmed Chalabi -- wrote a number of stories that now seem meant to dupe the American people into to thinking Iraqi weapons of mass destruction were a threat.

Turns out, as you know, there weren't any. When the Times looked back on the fiasco, it found that Miller wrote or co-wrote nine of the "problematic stories" on the topic.

And if Martha did it, why can't Judy? Coming this fall, a new reality show: Judith "The Queen of All Iraq" Miller Felates LIVE with guest stars Ahmed Chalabi, Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney, and W himself for a full hour!

Bomb's Away

Click here.

FNC

Worth repeating, even though I'm not worried about the actual story:

....the problem with Fox News is not that it's conservative, it's that its essentially a mouthpiece of the God's Own Party. I can't think of any other media outlet, except maybe Rush Limbaugh, which so perfectly functions as an RNC puke funnel...

Look, this needs to stop. We need to stop accepting that "this" exists and "we" have to live with it... there is a response; let's grow a fucking spine already.

Justice Sunday!*

*for white judges only

Link:

Senate majority leader Bill Frist appeared through a telecast as a speaker at "Justice Sunday," at the invitation of the event's main sponsor, Family Research Council president Tony Perkins. "Justice Sunday" was promoted as a rally to portray Democrats as being "against people of faith." Many of the speakers compared the plight of conservative Christians to the civil rights movement. But in sharing the stage with Perkins, who introduced him to the rally, Frist was associating himself with someone who has longstanding ties to racist organizations.

Four years ago, Perkins addressed the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), America's premier white supremacist organization, the successor to the White Citizens Councils, which battled integration in the South. In 1996 Perkins paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,000 for his mailing list. At the time, Perkins was the campaign manager for a right-wing Republican candidate for the US Senate in Louisiana. The Federal Election Commission fined the campaign Perkins ran $3,000 for attempting to hide the money paid to Duke.

As the emcee of Justice Sunday, Tony Perkins positioned himself beside a black preacher and a Catholic "civil rights" activist as he rattled off the phone numbers of senators wavering on President Bush's judicial nominees. The evening's speakers studiously couched their appeals on behalf of Bush's stalled judges in the vocabulary of victimhood, accusing Democratic senators of "filibustering people of faith."

James Dobson, who founded the Family Research Council as the Washington lobbying arm of his Focus on the Family, invoked the Christian right's persecution complex. On an evening when Jews were celebrating the second night of Passover, Dobson claimed, "The biggest Holocaust in world history came out of the Supreme Court" with the Roe v. Wade decision. On his syndicated radio show nearly two weeks earlier, on April 11, Dobson compared the "black robed men" on the Supreme Court to "the men in white robes, the Ku Klux Klan." By his logic, the burden of oppression had passed from religious and racial minorities to unborn children and pure-hearted heterosexuals engaged in "traditional marriage."

All your Weather are Belong to Us

So sayeth Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum.

More Santorum fun. Oldie, but a goodie.

Internets

Worst use of these here Internets:

The enduring wisdom of Pat Sajak protecting that poor victimized man of the people, Tom "I AM THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!" DeLay. (The original story referred to DeLay as "Senate Majority Whip," proving my aunt was right all along: Vanna's the one with the brains over there at WoF.)

Best use:

Protecting our children from the evils of penetration. In particular, the butt buggery section has very instructive pictures.

Wal-Mart Hearts the Caucasianally-Challenged

Wal-Mart's race-baiting:

"Wal-Mart is working for everyone," read the newspaper ad, which ran in January in more than 100 newspapers nationwide, including the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. "Some of our critics are working only for themselves." The same day, the company launched walmartfacts.com, a website to counter criticism of the kind you may have read in this magazine. Along with some misleading information intended to make Wal-Mart's wages and benefits sound much better than they are, the new campaign materials feature many smiling African-American faces; the website explains, accurately, that Wal-Mart is a "leading employer" of Hispanics and African-Americans.

As Jesse Jackson and other black leaders have pointed out in response to this boast, the slave plantation was once a "leading employer" of African-Americans as well. But this ad campaign was only the latest salvo in Wal-Mart's fervent battle for the goodwill of black America, inspired by the difficulties the company is having as it tries to move into urban areas.

Wal-Mart spent more than $1 million on a PR campaign backing a voter referendum to build a Supercenter in Inglewood, California, where the majority of voters are people of color, and was decisively defeated last year. The company faces continued resistance in Chicago as well, where it has been trying to open stores in black neighborhoods. A Wal-Mart on that city's West Side is scheduled to open by next February--to the frustration of those who opposed it--while plans for a South Side store have been scuttled. Controversy continues to rage about a Wal-Mart project in New Orleans, and in late February plans for a New York City Wal-Mart were scrapped in the wake of protests by labor, small business and neighborhood groups. Much of the opposition to the retailer has been led by activists of color. And, of course, since many people of color are poor, Wal-Mart depends on them as shoppers and as workers. It's no surprise, then, that the company would be eager to appeal to racial minorities.

Fucking wonderful. Despite the "urban fear" of crime, drugs, and violence perpetuated by the Colorado Springs of the country, this is a fine example of how these communities refuse to be cowed by their labels and are coming together to protect their own. God bless 'em.

RNC Luv

Having donated no money -- ever -- to the GOP, nor in anyway affiliated myself with the party -- ever; and in fact having slammed this president on every given occasion, accusing him of drug use and the defacto murder of school children; the RNC felt compelled to send me this today:

[note: picture may have been altered.. by me]

So, um... can we please stop calling them "better organized?"

Abu Alberto

Wolf is softballing Gonzales right now. He's a piece of work.

"No one can produce credible evidence of abuses of the PATRIOT Act."

Yes, that's because the PATRIOT Act allows all investigations to be conducted in complete secrecy. Number of terror convictions? Now 1, Lynne Stewart, and that was a PR stunt. She wasn't shopping eBay for Cesium-237.

"It's (The PATRIOT Act) one of the reasons we haven't had a terrorist attack in 3 years."

Hogwash. There's no evidence of this. The absence of an attack does not validate allowing the government to spy on its citizens. It was 8 years between attacks on the World Trade Center.

"We don't engage in torture."

Well, schmeeve submits Exhibit A into the record: Abu Grahib. For which people have been convicted.

Alberto also spread-headed getting a narrow definition of torture, and the President is exempt! Ain't that fucking grand!

"We don't want to hold [imprison] people indefinitely..."

Gitmo: 4 years and counting. Convictions? 0.

What an asshat. I've watched less than 5 minutes, and I can'ts takes no more...

JimmyJeff

I have a bit of politics fatigue, so haven't been so active lately, but this Jeff Gannon/JD Guckert thing is worth following. Nutshell: GOP plant asking softball questions of Bush & McClellan, and a former gay escort now (well, until recently) anti-gay writer for "fake" news organization owned by powerful Texas GOP organization. "8"+ cut, Top!" in case you were wondering. I wonder about the "+"

Salon's got the low-down.

AMERICAblog for continuing coverage. (and links to naked Gannon!)

Anderson Cooper grilled the fellow "family" member -- and did a shockingly good job. Media Matters has the video.

Seems Armstrong Williams was tip of the iceberg.

Seriously, don't you people get tired of being lied to?

SS

Chuck Schumer gives us a handy calculator letting you know how poor you ass be when Bush finishes "fixing" Social Security.

Hilter Youth

Link:

One in three U.S. high school students say the press ought to be more restricted, and even more say the government should approve newspaper stories before readers see them, according to a survey being released today.

The survey of 112,003 students finds that 36% believe newspapers should get "government approval" of stories before publishing; 51% say they should be able to publish freely; 13% have no opinion.

Disturbing, yes.. but think about it. Once these coddled lil' darlings get a taste of the "real world," this shit'll change. Poor bastards still think the government is honest and is there to serve them. They don't even pay taxes yet fer Christsake. And do you remember your American History textbook? Factually influenced fiction at best, but a glorious read revealing that America does, indeed, have the biggest wang.

So, not so surprising...

'The Poor Lost'

David Korn via Kos. God these people are disgusting:

Though there was no official poem for the occasion, impressionist Rich Little, emceeing the Constitution Ball at the Hilton Washington, did provide a bit of inaugural doggerel.

The gist of it was: "Let's get together, let bitterness pass, I'll hug your elephant, you kiss my ass!" And the crowd went crazy.

Little said he missed and adored the late President Ronald Reagan and "I wish he was here tonight, but as a matter of fact he is," and he proceeded to impersonate Reagan, saying, "You know, somebody asked me, 'Do you think the war on poverty is over?' I said, 'Yes, the poor lost.' " The crowd went wild.

In the same piece, Korn exposes Newt for the scumbag that he is. Not like anyone needed to draw you a picture, but he's such a bottom feeder.

Master Control Center

$2 billion for new Iraqi embassy. That's one fancy-schmancy embassy.

Just one gem in the $80B request from the Bush admin. today for "military operations."

Something tells me we could get a lot more "freedom" by giving each and every one of those 40 million Iraqis $50 each and scraping the Baghdad "gleaming tower of democracy*."

Compare and contrast: that mammoth Freedom Penis we're erecting at ground zero costs a mere $1.5B.

Bush hearts Iraq.

* Americans only. No furiners.

Electoral College

CNN:

The normally perfunctory ceremony of counting and certifying Electoral College votes was delayed for about four hours as Democrats unsuccessfully challenged Ohio's votes for Bush.

Bush received 286 electoral votes, 16 more than the 270 he needed to win re-election. Sen. John Kerry, a Massachusetts Democrat, received 251 votes. One Democratic elector cast a vote not for Kerry but for former Sen. John Edwards, his vice presidential running mate.

In the vice presidential race, Vice President Dick Cheney received 286 electoral votes and Edwards received 252.

Alleging widespread "irregularities" on Election Day, a group of Democrats in Congress objected earlier Thursday to the counting of Ohio's 20 electoral votes.

The challenge was defeated 267-31 by the House and 74-1 by the Senate, clearing the way for the joint session to count the votes from the remaining states.

The move was not designed to overturn Bush's re-election, said Ohio Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones and California Sen. Barbara Boxer, who filed the objection.

The objecting Democrats, all of whom are House members except Boxer, said they wanted to draw attention to the need for aggressive election reform in the wake of what they said were widespread voter problems.

In a letter to congressional leaders Wednesday, members of the group said they would take the action because a new report by Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee found "numerous, serious election irregularities," particularly in Ohio, that led to "a significant disenfranchisement of voters."

"How can we possibly tell millions of Americans who registered to vote, who came to the polls in record numbers, particularly our young people ... to simply get over it and move on?" Tubbs Jones said at a press conference with Boxer.

Thursday's joint session of the House of Representatives and the Senate to count electoral votes is specified in the U.S. Constitution. Cheney, in his role as president of the Senate, presided over the session.

The results from each state, read in alphabetical order, were ticked through quickly until Ohio was called, and a clerk read the objection filed by Boxer and Tubbs Jones.

Then, as required by congressional rules in the event that at least one member of each house objects to the vote, Cheney ordered the lawmakers back to their respective chambers for two hours of debate on the merits of the challenge and to vote on it.

It was only the second such challenge since the current rules for counting electoral votes were established in 1877. The last was in 1969 and concerned a so-called "faithless elector," according to congressional researchers.

Four years ago, after the disputed election results in Florida, members of the Congressional Black Caucus attempted to block Florida's electoral votes from being counted.

In a scene recalled in Michael Moore's movie "Fahrenheit 9/11," lawmaker after lawmaker was gaveled down by Vice President Al Gore because no senator would support the objections, as the rules require.

House Democrats involved in this year's protest worked for weeks to enlist the support of a senator in their party, and Boxer agreed to join the effort Wednesday.

"This is my opening shot to be able to focus the light of truth on these terrible problems in the electoral system," Boxer told the joint press conference with Tubbs Jones.

"While we have men and women dying to bring democracy abroad, we've got to make it the best it can be here at home, and that's why I'm doing this."

[...]

Look, the point here is it's a improvement over 2000.

Did fraud exist in the general election of 2004? In Ohio? With it's 20 electoral votes, which would of tipped the election? Yes and yes, to name a small few -- but damning -- examples.

Democracy was fun, wasn't it?

Mmmmmmm... Torture

I really want to rant about this ridiculous debate over whether Torturo Gonzales should be confirmed.

The answer, of course, is no. This is a man who was more interested in the "legal opinions" of torture as the Abu Ghraib horror broke than the fact that, you know, people were being tortured.

His belief that the President is above the law should also raise eyebrows, which natch endears him to Dear Leader, but is nary of any interest to Americans. If he had epic tits, or lip synched, or had an adorable white baby consumed by the tsunamis, just then America might take notice.

NYT: (bold mine)

Mr. Gonzales's role in seeking a legal opinion on the definition of torture and the legal limits on the force that could be used on terrorist suspects in captivity is expected to be a central issue in the Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearings scheduled to begin on Thursday on Mr. Gonzales's nomination to be attorney general.

The request by Mr. Gonzales produced the much-debated Justice Department memorandum of Aug. 1, 2002, which defined torture narrowly and said that Mr. Bush could circumvent domestic and international prohibitions against torture in the name of national security.

We are so thoroughly fucked.

"Stop Hurting America"

CNN's Crossfire is dead. Tucker's been whining about his poor treatment at CNN for some time, so this was expected, but Crossfire had devolved into a circus over the past few years mixing all the worst elements of political hackery and facts-free punditry. It hasn't always been that way, and it was one of the last places this side of Neptune you could find a partisan Democrat who had a bigger voice than writing angry letters from his Montana cabin. It'd be nice to have a show where useful debate took place on the air, as Crossfire once longed to be, but I don't really see this happening outside of Air America holding a winning $500M Powerball ticket.

And no, Jon Stewart didn't kill Crossfire. It sucked enough on its own. Didn't hurt tho.

Poking through the blog world today, I picked up that CNN's Capital Gang, which no one watches anyway, is also slated for exile. The good news here being these were the two permanent homes of "Douche Bag of Freedom" Bob Novak. As Novak recovered from hip replacement last month, Stewart noted on The Daily Show, "He didn't break it. It tried to ESCAPE!"

So, good riddance Crossfire. Thankfully, Tucker's bowtie continues to be adorable.

Capital?

Bush poised to be most unpopular president ever on inauguration day.

Think about that. With all this "political capital" and those HOT HOT HOT Man Dates.

This all doesn't add up. Either people voted for him despite disapproving of him, which is of course, shameful and monumentally retarded, or of course, someone cheated. Probably both.

This country is so squirrelly.

Oh, and fuck you Time. What about the dead soldiers? (Well, that was last year.. kinda) What about all those dead Iraqis? No, let's honor he who lied and then let die.

Granted, this is the same magazine that gave 1938 person of the year to this man and then in 1939 *and* 1942 to this man. [UPDATE: Look at list here. Other links are subscription-based. Stoopid.]

This genital electrocution sponsored by...

Try and look surprised:

NEW YORK -- A document released for the first time today by the American Civil Liberties Union suggests that President Bush issued an Executive Order authorizing the use of inhumane interrogation methods against detainees in Iraq. Also released by the ACLU today are a slew of other records including a December 2003 FBI e-mail that characterizes methods used by the Defense Department as "torture" and a June 2004 "Urgent Report" to the Director of the FBI that raises concerns that abuse of detainees is being covered up.

Why not just brand a giant "USA" on their asses?

Oh, we're gonna still pretend we're helping these people out? Oh, okay.

Also... 20 dead in Mosul this morning. Hope Rummy doesn't get carpal tunnel!

Freedom

So fighting for the Iraq justification du jour, freedom, in a country that obviously doesn't want freedom, now involves calling up the ready reserves. Not new news, but watching these people on 60 Minutes -- old, out of shape, being lied to over technicalities about their fulfillment of duty, and even disabled -- is just so fucking disgusting.

We're now gonna "protect America" by dropping 55 year old semi-retired women into Fallujah. Brilliant, George, just fucking brilliant.

Meanwhile, America is unfazed. Hurry, there's a sale on Bibles at Wal-Mart!

51% of you should be ashamed of yourselves. It doesn't get more un-Christian than this gross back-door draft. Instead of instituting a real draft -- and getting able bodied people to fight this ridiculous misadventure -- we get this. And why? Election year politics.