With Walk-on-Water Action!

Jesus Christ Action Figure.

Go see the commercial. Go on!

I hear this one has been designed to mount the Ann Coulter talking action figure from behind.

Earth to Dan

Why is Dan Savage writing articles for Salon about Howard Stern and his battles with the FCC?

His sex “advice” columns are often entertaining, but he never goes more than a paragraph or two without some self-aggrandizing stroking. Here, he aludes to being the “Gay Howard Stern,” actually considers himself big enough to be “next on the list” (while denying doing it), and then plugs his own website all by the end of the 2nd paragraph. Nauseating.

Dan: stick to the weenies, poo-eating, and boybutt. Don’t try to legitimize yourself, and I think I hear the phone… yep, it’s the Rikki show again…

Stern

I’ve been listening to Howard Stern lately while driving to work. It’s been a few years since I’ve tuned in on a regular basis, but his recent run-ins with the FCC and subsequent anti-right stances have, obviously, been appealing. It’s funny — with all the vitriol, lying, and conniving that surrounds our public “discourse” and policy today, I find Stern almost wholesome. He is what he is, and nothing more.

Yesterday, he had Arianna Huffington on, pushing her new book Fanatics & Fools. She was surprisingly effective against the typical Stern guttural assault. She rolled with the punches, played along, and really did herself justice. Then they asked if she had ever been with a black man. She had. The flood gates opened.

Later, they called the Gubernator and got him to come on the air not knowing Arianna was the guest. That went surprisingly well, given the viciousness of their exchanges during the gubernatorial race, with Arnold being very respectful and complimentary of her… until Stern posed the “have you been with a black person” question to Arnold. His response? “Yes, Howard, but lots of guys were with that woman that night.” Well, at least he didn’t use the “N” word.

Arianna departed with these words: “Don’t ever have on [the program] a hooker who isn’t registered [to vote].” Funny.

Stern has the potential for driving a serious wedge into the presidential race. The GOP consists of two elements, which don’t necessarily have any interest in each other: the fundamentalist Christians and the fiscal conservatives. Historical ties have brought them together, but Bush clearly panders to the former. Someone who has mass appeal like Stern can really throw a wrench into the crazy fundie regime we’re now living under and steer many casual non-politicos away from voting for the Chimperor. I think many on the left are realizing this may be just what we needed. Stern has a huge audience and isn’t passive like the mainstream news outlets. The Stern Factor should not be dismissed or ignored. Quite the opposite.

Check out howardstern.com for more info on his battle with the FCC. Whether you like him or not, he is getting a raw deal.

YAAIWF

(Yet Another Airline I Won’t Fly)

Link:

The [1.2 million] passenger records, which cover an unspecified week in June 2002, included credit card numbers, frequent-flier numbers, phone numbers, addresses, meal preferences and health data provided at the time of purchase, according to American Airlines spokeswoman Stacey Frantz.

It gets better — the TSA then lied to investigators when asked if it had any such data or if the agency had aided contractors in acquiring such data.

I’m really getting tired of the private sector bending over for Ashcroft’s attempts to bring the blacklist back en vogue. (Of course, this is a mere distraction from his all-out war on secular America and non-Christians.)

Northwest and jetBlue have already admitted to gleefully doing their own data dumps.

EFF has a good page on the highly secretive CAPPS II program.

Air America: The Sludge Report

After this drivel on Drudge, Air America releases The Sludge Report.

I always shy away from giving Drudge any coverage — we all know the guy would suck himself off if he could. But the AA response is mildly amusing.

It’s a bit unclear as to what exactly has transpired. Depending on who you listen to, either the radio network is a bunch of deadbeat check bouncers, or the owner of the LA & Chicago outlets is a slimeball used car salesman.

Meanwhile, they’re due to invade two previously Asian-language stations here in the bay area next month. In the mean time, you can catch them each day via internet stream.

My Life

So, I was in South Carolina this past weekend visiting the parents. I landed at 1am last night… and am hella tired. So, bed, here I come. (Oh, and by the way — I did not grow up in the South. I have no Southern accent and I do not like NASCAR. I grew up in Los Angeles, but my parents did not so they retired there. Got it? Good.)

While there, I convinced mom to buy a new computer. They had a “classic” iMac, vintage 1999 or so, and it was time to go. So I — rather easily — convinced them it was time for a new one. This was surprising considering the machine was sitting on a 150 year old table accompanied by a 120 year old chair. Having the new “lamp-style” machine sitting next to the “boob-style” one was really a testament to how much they’ve improved. Aside from simple internals, the screen and the design of the thing are first-class. But this is old news.

There is no place near Charleston to buy a Mac. At least that I could find. Circuit City and Best Buy have/do carry these things in other markets, but they were no where to be found around Charleston. So I had to order one, and of course, it had to come overnight considering I needed to set it up before I left and transfer all the old data.

This morning, I get this frantic email:

From: Dad
To: Me
Subject: Printer not working!!!

Please help!!! Dad.

So, I log onto the machine (remote access is my friend), find out what’s wrong, and reply:

From: Me
To: Dad
Subject: Re: Printer not working!!!

The printer is out of paper.

Ugh.

Family Yokels

Oh, this is rich.

My cousin’s ex-husband is under arrest after a shotgun booby trap he set up on his illegal pitbull breeding farm went off — filling a surveyor full of bird shot.

Where to even begin with this one. First of all, what a fucking knob! Can’t say I’m surprised, though. He was always the quintessential redneck: lots of dead stuff on the walls. Stoic drinking. Grunting and pointing. The Confederacy. Big trucks. Overalls. A library of racist jokes. An evil Uncle Jesse, if you will. (That would be much funnier had I gotten to scan the picture out of the paper before it was thrown away.) I remember visiting the Doggy Fight Club when I was little, not knowing its true nature and wondering why it needed to be stuffed away in the middle of nowhere and why anyone would pay $3k for a pet.

Apparently, “Yellow” was the top fighter, who’s pups probably brought in the big bucks. Supposedly the third best place in the country to get your fighting pit, he even refereed fights and had an active business mailing out flyers and advertising the lil’ monsters on the net. And to think I didn’t even get one measly flyer. That’s family for you.

He also ran this message board, which has since been yanked down. (It remains in the Google cache for the time being.)

Facing 68 charges including attempted murder, I think the worst is yet to come: the IRS. This has to have gone on for at least a decade, and I’m guessing like most illegal operations, he didn’t bother paying taxes.

My cousin has always been a very sweet person, so I always considered this a rather serious lapse in judgment… and things seem to be better now since she left him a few years ago. Got to wonder if this had anything to do with it.

Oh, and like two months ago? My dad’s 2nd cousin (I think) blew away his girlfriend then shot himself in a murder-suicide. Again, here in the genteel south — Charleston, SC. Didn’t know the guy, but I think I’ll stay away from any family reunions for awhile.

Soooooo thankful I’m not genetically related to any of this family. I’m a rotten shit for talking about it publicly, but its not like you knew them, huh?

More Excuses to Sit on my Ass

Got a Philips MX5900SA home theater system, and wow… what a friggin’ difference! My neighbors are sooooo going to hate me. It’s a 5-disc DVD changer 500-watt multi-channel (6.1) system. I can’t believe I’ve had a HDTV for 2 years and hadn’t paired it with something like this until now.

And no, this isn’t like buying a Corvette. I wouldn’t of gotten it if it weren’t such a steal.

Speaking of HDTV, my TV’s got DirecTV built into it which is all digital and at least partially HDTV. I’ve even got the dish, but my landlord won’t let me mount the thing, so I’m left with sucktacular Comcast. I’ve got them coming next week to install a HDTV cable box, but I’m skeptical as to how it’s going to really play out since my TiVo won’t take high-def feeds and the TV’s only got one composite input for high-def, currently being used by the Philips box. We shall see.

Only major gripe, which isn’t Philips fault: my TiVo remote doesn’t have a code to control the volume/mute on it.

I also got a second TiVo. Ratio of TVs to people in my house now 2:1. The pricing for the service and HMO is bullshit, but the “sharing” between rooms is nice as are the music and photo features. Although, it’s not like I couldn’t do it… watching something recorded in another room without getting off my ass is pretty sweet. Major gripe there: no AAC support for music.

Oh, also got a new stove. But haven’t used that yet. Priorities, dammit. 😉

condo-LIE-zza rice

Here it now on NPR.

It really makes me want to get up in a tower and start hurting some people.

Well, okay, Condi mostly. Can this woman ever tell the truth?

UPDATE: CAP separates fact from fiction. Does she have dissociative identity disorder? Or perhaps is an alien taking on (slightly) human form? It’s gotta be something. Or she’s just entirely conscience-free.