Unfucking Believable

Posted by: on Dec 31, 2003 | 2 Comments

shitbag.jpgI go out to have breakfast with my old boss this morning in Palo Alto. On the way, I stop for a car wash. When we get there, as always I park away from everyone, as I don’t want anyone touching my car, dinging it, molesting it, looking at it funny, thinking bad thoughts about it, etc. Trust me, I’m beyond anal about my car… to the point where I just annoy the shit out of most of my passengers. I’m even crazy enough to have bought a camera phone just to take pictures of license plates if I’m forced to park near someone in a crowded parking lot.

However, during breakfast, some shitbag hit my car, leaving a giant dent in my front quarter panel and tearing the front body molding. (Think reversing out of parking space and turning too sharp.) Shitbag left no information. Even a fucking apology would of been nice. I know this happened there, since I walked around and inspected the car not 3 hours earlier at the car wash and the only place I had parked was in that lot.

People suck.

Oh, and during breakfast? A roach crawled up onto the table under my left arm. I should of been suspicious — God’s been known to warn before via insects.

It’d be a small miracle, but if you saw anyone in the city parking lot behind 447 California St in Palo Alto hit-n-run a black Acura this morning around 11a-noon, let me know. I swear I’d hunt them down like a dog in the night if I had anything to go on…

Jesus, people suck!

Any recommendations for a top-notch body shop in the bay area?

Anyway… Happy New Year. I don’t think it’s possible for 2004 to such any worse than 2003, so at least that’s something… right?

Ugh, so unhappy.

Celine’s Grammar

Posted by: on Dec 27, 2003 | No Comments

I don’t know why this irritates me so much, after all, she’s ESL… but Chrysler should know better. And I’ve been laying around the house all day and suffered through it many times… so you’ll suffer with me.

Here’s Celine for the PT Turbo (thanks, CC):

I don’t understand the concept of
All we need
The power of one is stronger
Don’t you find that ironical
When love is all we need

Jesus fuck. Ironical? Um, Ironical?!? WTF? Sooo… irritating.

Note to self: get a life.

Merry Xmas from Republicans and the Meat Lobby

Posted by: on Dec 25, 2003 | No Comments


WASHINGTON – Legislation to keep meat from downed animals off American kitchen tables was scuttled — for the second time in as many years — as Congress labored unsuccessfully earlier this month to pass a catchall agency spending bill.

Now, in the wake of the apparent discovery of the first mad-cow case in the United States, the author of the House version of the cattle provision wants to press the issue anew when Congress returns Jan. 20 from its winter recess. The massive, $373 billion spending bill covering several government agencies is still pending in the Senate.

“I said on the floor of the House that you will rue the day that because of the greed of the industry to make a few extra pennies from 130,000 head, the industry would sacrifice the safety of the American people,” said Rep. Gary Ackerman, D-N.Y., chief House sponsor. “It’s so pound foolish.”

The provision dealing with downed cattle didn’t even make it into the compromise version of the legislation that House and Senate conferees brought before Congress late in the year.


Merry Whatever…

Posted by: on Dec 25, 2003 | One Comment

Merry Christmas!
Merry Hanukah!
Merry Kwanza!
Merry Festivus!
Merry Day-Before-Returning-Presents-Day!

Whatever you are, whatever you practice, however pissed off you are at everything being closed on a Christian holiday, Merry 25th! 🙂

mini iPods?

Posted by: on Dec 23, 2003 | No Comments

With Apple selling 1.79 iPods per minute in 2003, they’re still not satisfied… Now, apparently aiming at the low-end MP3 market, a mini iPod is rumored for Expo 2004.

Think Secret pegs ~$100 mini iPods (in multiple colors) with 2-4GB capacities.

Also rumored: major iLife updates to iMovie, iDVD, iPhoto, and iTunes.

I’m still lusting for the video iPod (probably reality but maybe not ready for primetime) and the Mac tablet, which is perhaps a bit more far fetched…

SprintPCS to carry T608, but BIG cavaet

Posted by: on Dec 23, 2003 | No Comments

Seriously stupid Sprint has finally decided to carry the T608… a phone which they sat on forever due to SonyEricsson’s decision to stop producing CDMA phones. It will be the first (and only that I know of) SprintPCS phone to offer bluetooth.

But here’s the catch: they will not offer unlimited Vision on the phone, presumably to prevent people from using it as a wireless modem.

Even though I have “unlimited” Vision, I use it maybe once a month at most… granted, given the wireless modem thing, I might use it a lot more, so I kinda see their point, but this is a serious slap in the face for a lot of us who have been waiting for this phone.

To make matters worse, there’s only a limited number available. So get yours now if you want it… 1-866-PCS-AUTO

Of course, if I get the phone, I’ll need the Bluetooth capable car to go with it.

Read more from sprintpcsinfo.com

I’m so going to hell…

Posted by: on Dec 23, 2003 | One Comment

Last minute gift shopping? How about a Baby Jesus Butt Plug.

Parental Units Over Iowa

Posted by: on Dec 18, 2003 | No Comments

My parents are in-route to San Francisco for the holidays, choosing to visit me this year… I’m not entirely freaked out yet, and Mike is still here for moral support (and to provide a distraction).

Things will pretty much go like this:

Soon after deplaning: Complaints about airline, seats, food, and connecting airport. “We like Charleston’s airport.” (The fact that there’s no directs between Charleston and SFO is completely beside the point.)

Parking lot: Complaints about the car, it’s lack of four doors, it’s color and interior, and the sport seats. Bonus point: impressed by navigation system.

Car ride up to Napa: “So… what did you do to get laid off?” Demand for an itinerary and list of dinner reservations. Inevitable comment about selection of music.

@ the Napa B&B: Some back-handed comment about the room and about how it’s costing them “over $100 a night.” (Truth is it’s $280 a night, and I’m paying the difference.)

And that’s day one! They’re here until the 26th.

They’ve already made things difficult enough. I bought e-Tickets, since paper tickets were $40 extra per ticket (and there is two per person each way), and they were utterly unconvinced they would be able to get on the plane without a physical ticket.

Anxiety increasing…

Righters Taking Homo Marriage Poll to Congress

Posted by: on Dec 18, 2003 | No Comments

The “American Family Association” is conducting an online poll about gay marriage. You know what to do.

[ via the bitter shack of resentment ]

‘Simple Life’ More Popular Than Prez

Posted by: on Dec 18, 2003 | No Comments

Fox’s ‘The Simple Life’ beat Diane Sawyer’s interview of Bush by nearly 1 million viewers. (And for that matter, Navy NCIS starring Mark Harmon did too.)
If you haven’t seen what two ultra rich heiresses can do to a small Arkansas town — it’s, well — fucking hilarity! Granted, it’s Burin-Murray, so the “reality” has been severely tinkered with, which is evident by the serious gaps in time, but who cares…
Some choice moments:

TV GUY: Have either one of you ever had a job?
PARIS: (laughs) No.
NICOLE: No. Well, um, I was a figure skater once.

PARIS: He’s kinda cute. (referring to the host family’s 19 year old son)
NICOLE: Yeah! Let’s have a threeway with him!

For their first job, they had to milk cows then fill the milk bottles for delivery. When using real milk proved too boring, they cheated with a dirty bucket of water, explaining “Milk is fattening anyway! We’re doing them a favor!” Then they used the guy’s jacuzzi and took a nap on his couch.

Given a job at Sonic, a fast-food joint, bedlam ensues. Nicole attempts to mate with drive-thruers: “I like sweaty guys, you sure do sweat a lot.” Fat manager chick is unamused. So then they’re tasked with changing the marquee to announce some half-priced burger day or some such shit, but they’ve got their own plans, changing the sign to read ‘HALF PRICE SALTY ANAL WEINER BUGERS.’ Fat manager chick again unamused. Next, it’s waving at traffic in giant drink costumes. Nicole decides to give them the finger instead, then both head across the street into a grocery store where they roll around on the floor like two mating milkshakes. Fat manager chick yet again unamused; Paris rebuffs “we’re drumming up customers!”

NICOLE: I heard you guys like to hang out at Wal-Mart. Is that true? (Presumably ‘you guys’ being poor people.)
PARIS: Wallll… Marttt? What is that? Like a place you can buy wall stuff?

At least America’s got it’s priorities straight. Or maybe Karl Rove pitched The Simple Life as a distraction from his master plan?
Recommended: The Simple Life recaps at Television Without Pity.