Happy Mutant Sock Monkey Day!

Shithead

Those nutty Japanese…

Who’s loving your mama?

I am. I am. So ridiculous.
I love the internets.

UNICEF

“Smurfette is left for dead. Baby Smurf is left crying and orphaned as the Smurf’s village is carpet bombed by warplanes…”
Um, okay.
Ohh! Video!
(thanks to J-flaps for the links)

CUNTFLAPS

As a co-worker put it…
Rockstar being, well, Rockstar

Query

Best non-sensical answer to a question:

When i asked just explained faster.

(it’s verbatim.)

Sprout Submarine Combo

Link.
Memo to Frank Luntz: “MATRIX” and “Carnivore” aren’t very sellable.
…props to Dan for the link.

HOT

Link:

“Welcome to York,” says York (Pa.) Daily Record managing editor Randy Parker about the truly Onion-esque story that ran in his paper today.
“Man Charged With Assault on Sheep” was the headline, and the true-life story, by Caryl Clarke, begins: “Somebody was making nighttime visits to farmer Terry Patterson’s sheep barn in the 600 block of Big Mount Road in Paradise Township.” It goes on to tell of a man arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting a sheep after the barn owner installed a barn alarm and intercom system to prevent such attacks.
But there’s more. Clarke’s story details the police arrest report and ends with a pull-out box highlighting previous incidents of bestiality in York, including a 1997 case involving a live turkey in a food plant and a 1992 encounter between a man and a ram at the York Fair.

“Genital Bracelets”

Is that what we’re calling cock rings these days?
Meanwhile, over at the Blake trial:

Under the influence of drugs, he said, he once crawled into a cage of monkeys that were smoking cocaine.

Yeah, I’m pretty much bored.