Election Results

Nov 4, 2008 | No Comments

Why do I just get this sinking feeling it’s gonna be a nail-biter?

Technorati Tags: , ,

Bust Out the Cock-O-Meter

Jul 7, 2008 | No Comments

Bust out the cock-o-meter. She’s all mine now and I will do many dirty filthy and unspeakable things to her.


Jun 5, 2008 | No Comments

Richard Clarke on Olbermann referring to today’s Senate Intelligence Report on how the Bush administration lied us into war:

I just don’t think we can let these people back into polite society […] and just pretend this didn’t happen. […] Someone should have to pay.

Um, can I get an AMEN?

Jan-Michael Vincent was Passed Out After a Bender

May 20, 2008 | No Comments


Edward dedicates his time to caring for [his 1974 VW Beetle] Vanilla and composing car-themed love songs on his keyboard. He reveals that his taste for mechanical love extends to a fascination with aircraft – and even claims to have made love to Airwolf, the high-tech helicopter from the 1980s TV series of the same name.

Flying Penis

May 20, 2008 | No Comments

Chess legend cum politician Garry Kasparov is interrupted during a speech.

In me, sf

Well Stocked

May 15, 2008 | No Comments

Look what I found at work! And not being used!

In me, sf

Well Insulated

May 14, 2008 | 2 Comments

Came home today around 7. It’s around, oh, 68 outside. Inside my house? 83.

Open windows do me no good when there’s no breeze.

I does dawn on me, however, that since I’m not renting I could put a pool in my living room without any disclosure…

Nevermind, I know what I’m doing tomorrow.

Living room pool! Clothing optional! Any takers?

Cousin Fucking

Apr 16, 2008 | No Comments

And the results:

BRAZORIA, TX (KTRK) — A state trooper found a six foot alligator in the back seat of a burglary suspect’s car early Saturday morning.

The trooper told Eyewitness News that William Johnson found the gator in the road near Angleton and loaded it up into his Buick Regal, then broke into a house in Brazoria.

DPS Trooper Steve Stanfield explained, “From my understanding, he tried to get a big screen TV out of the house. He couldn’t get it in the car by himself, so he recruited a neighbor, who, when he saw the alligator, dropped the TV and said, ‘Alright, I ain’t got nothing to do with it.'”

Officers arrested Johnson and a game warden took the alligator.

Officers also told us on Friday, they found Johnson with a four and a half foot water moccasin that had bitten him. Johnson did not suffer ill effects from the snake bite.

In Texas. I know, I’m shocked too.

In me, sf

My Favorite 5 Days of the Year

Apr 10, 2008 | No Comments

Property taxes due today.

Income tax due in 5.

This searchable database over at the Chronicle really irritated me. Over 8,000 SF city & county employees are paid over $100k a year. A lot of that is overtime. A “special nurse” for the DPH was paid $117k base and $216k in overtime in 2007 netting $350,324. Cops, firefighters, DAs and bureaucrats fill out the ranks of the extremely overpaid. Why is this city insisting on making a Republican out of me? I mean, there is a fiscal shortfall and all. My uber-coiffed mayor wants a crackdown, but I just doubt it’s gonna happen. Once you can afford the ultimate feast at Red Lobster every night, there’s no going back without a fight.

Don’t even get me started on that Olympic Torch nonsense yesterday…

Just Kill Me

Mar 21, 2008 | No Comments

Few days ago got a call from the BMW dealer. “We’ve got the M3 in, wanna come in for a drive?” Friend from work’s interested in a 135i. Today was the day we’d get to filthily molest ’em both.

We get there and the 135i is an automatic. Well, shitfaddle. “Sport mode with paddle shifters” provides a little fun. The engine’s sultry purr is seductive.

Then we get to the M3. All tingly with excitement, he runs off to get the key, and upon returning informs me I can’t take the car above 3500rpm. True of all of them until 1500 miles. Odometer? 64. I can get all the way up to school zone speeds! Just pinch me!

So while I couldn’t man-handle the beast, I turn to Top Gear to do that for me:

Heh. “Cock-O-Meter”

Technorati Tags: ,