Who’s loving your mama?

I am. I am. So ridiculous.
I love the internets.

On Being Average

Link
I move in to my place on 12/10. And I’ve got my binoculars ready for you people in the East Bay I can see from my living room window… 🙂

Central Valley

Things that suck about driving in the Central Valley:
– Trucks. About a billion of them, mostly Wal-Mart.
– Harris Ranch, specifically it’s feed lot. Downright disgusting.
– Lars Larsen, right wing nut job who I listen to mostly to stay awake — because I get so damn mad. Tonight, he was lamenting FEMA paying for hotel rooms for the displaced Katrina victims, and was making a national crisis out of prisoners profiting from selling their “art.” (Of zero interest: is housing available for the displaced? How the hell can a prisoner even spend his money? Buy a fetching Vitton bag at the commissary?)
– Food choices existing only of McD’s, Wendy’s, Carl’s Jr, and other crap options which have an ‘s in them
– Yokels that want to race in their F-150’s or “hemi” trucks
Things that suck about getting out of LA and even into the Central Valley:
– The 405.
Good things:
– Cows. (Excluding the doomed ones in the feed lot.) I like moo-moos, especially when they’re grazing, with calfs running around. Adorable. (Okay, and delicious…)
Time for bed.

Preach, Teach, Marry, and Bury

Thanks to the Universal Life Church you can become ordained online in about 3 minutes. And it’s all legit. I’m Rev. Schmeeve.
Speaking of all things holy, check out Outchurched, a Podcast/blog run by a friend of mine, the honorable Rev. Dan.
Also, I became a home owner today… more on that later.

UNICEF

“Smurfette is left for dead. Baby Smurf is left crying and orphaned as the Smurf’s village is carpet bombed by warplanes…”
Um, okay.
Ohh! Video!
(thanks to J-flaps for the links)

AOL and Wingnuts

What is it with AOL and wingnuts? (Disclaimer: I used to work for them, so I have an account gratis.)
I’ve always noticed how AOL is just flooded with rabid, even violent, conservatives. It’s the Mickey D’s of the internets, I get that, but it’s still got tens of millions of users.
Just a small sample of tonight:
A poll asking who did a better job in New Orleans, Mayor Ray Nagin or George W. Bush. 66% went for the Shrubbery. (Yes, the poll is retarded, as it should of really been two polls asking for the performance of each.) A CBS poll has 58% of Americans disapproving of W’s response to Katrina. Why so lopsided?
A story about a Cindy Sheehan rally in NYC being shut down and a demonstrator being arrested for an “unauthorized sound device,” sparked message board threads with such titles as:

• FUCK CINDY CUNT AND HER LIBS COWARD FAGGOTS
• ‘BIG NOSE’ DISGRACES SON!
• Sheehan rymes [sic] with Nazi
• Liberals will be the down fall of this nation
• BIN LADEN WOULD LOVE BIG NOSE CINDY
• CINDY SHEEHAN A NATIONAL DISGRACE
• Should have hanged the traitor
• Tired of this Sheehan Bitch
• ONLY SHOVED A BIT? SHE NEEDS A BULLET!

My favorite? A thread simply titled Whore. Ahhh…. my heart is full.
Sure, there was some more sane responses, but there was a lot of this crap. I mean, shitfuck, this woman’s son is dead, and she’s pissed off. How is patriotic to strip this woman’s dignity?
Is the rise of Nazi Germany not taught in school anymore? Is Orwell banned in red states? Is irony dead?
This shit’s just fucking scary. (And yes, I realize there’s probably a correlation between AOL’s demo and the Right’s anti-intellectualism… but still)

CUNTFLAPS

As a co-worker put it…
Rockstar being, well, Rockstar

W Wee-Wees

You know, for the last day I’ve been looking at this photo…

U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005. World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s vision of freedom from want, persecution and war.

…and I just can’t it get it out of my head. Bush wrote “I think I may need a bathroom break?” to Condi. This is the leader of the “free” world — telling Condi he needs a potty pit stop. Does he need permission? Did Condi excuse him? Why is it a question rather than a statement? (Few things are more absolute than the urge to take a piss.) Was it code for a quickie in the bathroom? Just unfuckingbelievable.
Obviously, he was bored in this meeting. (It was the UN after all, an organization he uses only when convenient.) But you voted for him. It’s been 10 months and most of you are now against the Iraq war, think the fed fucked up the Katrina response, and his popularity is lower than Nixon during Watergate. BUT YOU VOTED FOR HIM! Where the hell were you in November? It’s not like the Shrub went bad since re-election.
I just don’t get it anymore.

Rehnquist Dead

Link
…and, yes, what’s happening in New Orleans (and the entire Gulf Coast) is a terrible tragedy. Once I stop vomiting from the bungled federal response (it’s apparently New Orleans’ fault they don’t own amphibious military vehicles), Chertoff blaming poor people for not owning escape Escalades, endless press conferences, and the staged photo ops (levee repairs, hugging dark people, aerial map “strategy” sessions), I’ll have a lot to say about it.
You can donate to the Red Cross here.