My Ears!

Posted by: on Sep 25, 2006 | No Comments

They burn! They burn!
The honking in Shanghai, even 32 floors up with the windows closed, is absolutely maddening. I can only fathom it means “hello,” “good day,” “your hat is lovely” or something here, cuz it certainly serves no constructive purpose. Stop lights, crosswalks, painted lines in the road — they all mean nothing. Crossing the road, riding in a cab, or even walking on the sidewalk is done at your own peril.
Twice I’ve abandoned cabs as my urge to, um, not die, overtook. Apparently those cabs were meant for blind people.
The drivers who constantly spit out the window are also a nice touch. (Even though the info placard inside the cab mentions drivers are forbidden from doing so, as well as being required to use A/C should you request — they don’t.)
I think I may go ride the MagLev train tomorrow to the airport. Not because I need to go the airport, and not even because it picks one up at a convenient point, but because moving at such a rapid clip is just unfound novelty here in Shanghai.
Unrelated: I found underwear with a ruler in it in Hong Kong. That’s right — it’s “measure yourself” underwear. Other found undies include the sack scruncher, scrotal “blinds,” and the lacy staff sheath. Oh, to have so many upsetting gifts.
I also picked up a novelty penis. Throw it down and it explodes in a big rubber ball on the table, only to re-form all T2-like. What could possibly be more fun for $1?
Only one more full day, then 24 hours of travel to get home. But 3 weeks later or so, I think it’s back to Hong Kong.

The Fish Listener

Posted by: on Sep 22, 2006 | No Comments

There’s a gold fish in my room. (Sign of good luck here, but I kinda feel sorry for the lil’ guy.)

One Doughnut Pillow, Please

Posted by: on Sep 21, 2006 | No Comments

Finally headed home on the 27th, through Narita rather than Shanghai -> Hong Kong -> Taipei -> SFO. Was not looking forward to that.

Picture Match Game: Beijing Food Market Edition

Posted by: on Sep 18, 2006 | No Comments

It’s a game you can play at home!
Match the edible treat with the picture:
a. Scorpion
b. Shark
c. Centipede
d. Sea Urchin
e. Sheep Testicle
f. Grubs
g. Snake
h. Lizard

click for larger view
1 2 3
4 5 6

Who’s Watching?

Posted by: on Sep 18, 2006 | No Comments

The Red Army

Posted by: on Sep 17, 2006 | No Comments

The Most Peaceful Place in China…

Posted by: on Sep 17, 2006 | No Comments

Tiananmen Square. At least that’s what several locals told me. Aside from the constant incoming sorties of people peddling books, kites, watches, and Mao quote books, several people approached us with similar MOs — something I’d be warned about and have seen elsewhere in the world.
The template story basically goes like this:
We’re locals, we’re like really friendly, won’t you come somewhere with this? Once you go somewhere, you and your money usually part ways. From what I understand, you’re not at any real risk of being hurt, as long as you hand over your cash and whatever else you might have.
We got two:
1) We want to practice English with you. We’re 3 students who have an art exhibit inside a hall at Tiananmen. We have special passes, even though it’s closed right now, won’t you come look at our art exhibit?
2) We’re locals, we like American culture including McD’s and KFC. We also like beer. Won’t you come have a beer with us? (They also called me Budda, since I was sitting on the wall with my legs crossed much like Budda. I hope that’s the only reason why…)
The sad part is they look to be nice, normal people, and they might even have been… but considering I was sans a local this time, we just couldn’t take chances. 3 white guys walking around seem to look like giant dollar signs around here.
The weather here has been disgusting. I can’t figure out if the haze is weather or pollution, but my bet is on the latter, since about every single place in Beijing is a construction site.
Today we went to the Great Wall.
Tomorrow it’s back to Hong Kong.
Pictures coming up.

Friday Night Music w/Duran Duran

Posted by: on Sep 15, 2006 | No Comments

“The Chauffeur”
This never happens when I use a car park.

Mmmmmmm… Bowels

Posted by: on Sep 15, 2006 | One Comment

I always find this amusing. Cuz I’m 13 and like fart jokes, I guess.
Today’s menu: Boiled Jew’s Ear and Marinated Bowels! #504 and #508 below.

Apparently “Jew’s Ear” is fungus, and well, bowels are bowels. It’s beef intestine.

Crack is Whack!

Posted by: on Sep 13, 2006 | One Comment

After learning just last month that Osama longed to give Whitney Houston his meat kebab, it should come as no surprise that Whitney no longer wants to be Mrs. Bobby Brown.
My bet’s on irreconcilable crack differences.
During rehab last year she used the power of prayer to overcome the evils of drugs.
This time we’re all praying for you, Whitney.