CNN

Waking up this morning, hungover and stricken with that “OMFG! what did I do last night?” fear, I popped on CNN to distract me from searching my liquor-soaked brain for evidence of something which will require me to leave the state and change my name.
Anyway, it’s official — CNN is now 100% relevance-free. So some woman got cold feet two days before her wedding and bolted on trip through Nevada and New Mexico. They’ve been on this shit for two days now, apparently killing time until the Pope has a fucking bowel movement or something.
The “kidnapping” story existed for only a few hours this morning, and here like 16 hours later it’s the lead story on CNN.com and they’ve got 2 fucking videos, including her 911 call and a “how the case unfolded” dissection. They’ve got “experts” talking about “wedding stress.”
Unfuckingbelievable. Are we this stupid? Is CNN this fucking contemptuous?