CNN

Waking up this morning, hungover and stricken with that “OMFG! what did I do last night?” fear, I popped on CNN to distract me from searching my liquor-soaked brain for evidence of something which will require me to leave the state and change my name.
Anyway, it’s official — CNN is now 100% relevance-free. So some woman got cold feet two days before her wedding and bolted on trip through Nevada and New Mexico. They’ve been on this shit for two days now, apparently killing time until the Pope has a fucking bowel movement or something.
The “kidnapping” story existed for only a few hours this morning, and here like 16 hours later it’s the lead story on CNN.com and they’ve got 2 fucking videos, including her 911 call and a “how the case unfolded” dissection. They’ve got “experts” talking about “wedding stress.”
Unfuckingbelievable. Are we this stupid? Is CNN this fucking contemptuous?

Sprout Submarine Combo

Link.
Memo to Frank Luntz: “MATRIX” and “Carnivore” aren’t very sellable.
…props to Dan for the link.

Why I Fear Bananas

Link:

If you happen to come across giant spiders in your kitchen every now and then, you might want to pay attention to this one. A British chef bitten by the world’s deadliest arachnid was saved after snapping a photo of it with his camera phone.
According to a story in the Times Online, Matthew Stevens was bitten twice on the hand by a Brazilian Wandering Spider as he cleaned behind the freezer of his pub. The creature, not generally associated with life in England, is believed to have arrived as a stowaway in a box of bananas.

Justice Sunday!*

*for white judges only
Link:

Senate majority leader Bill Frist appeared through a telecast as a speaker at “Justice Sunday,” at the invitation of the event’s main sponsor, Family Research Council president Tony Perkins. “Justice Sunday” was promoted as a rally to portray Democrats as being “against people of faith.” Many of the speakers compared the plight of conservative Christians to the civil rights movement. But in sharing the stage with Perkins, who introduced him to the rally, Frist was associating himself with someone who has longstanding ties to racist organizations.
Four years ago, Perkins addressed the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), America’s premier white supremacist organization, the successor to the White Citizens Councils, which battled integration in the South. In 1996 Perkins paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,000 for his mailing list. At the time, Perkins was the campaign manager for a right-wing Republican candidate for the US Senate in Louisiana. The Federal Election Commission fined the campaign Perkins ran $3,000 for attempting to hide the money paid to Duke.
As the emcee of Justice Sunday, Tony Perkins positioned himself beside a black preacher and a Catholic “civil rights” activist as he rattled off the phone numbers of senators wavering on President Bush’s judicial nominees. The evening’s speakers studiously couched their appeals on behalf of Bush’s stalled judges in the vocabulary of victimhood, accusing Democratic senators of “filibustering people of faith.”
James Dobson, who founded the Family Research Council as the Washington lobbying arm of his Focus on the Family, invoked the Christian right’s persecution complex. On an evening when Jews were celebrating the second night of Passover, Dobson claimed, “The biggest Holocaust in world history came out of the Supreme Court” with the Roe v. Wade decision. On his syndicated radio show nearly two weeks earlier, on April 11, Dobson compared the “black robed men” on the Supreme Court to “the men in white robes, the Ku Klux Klan.” By his logic, the burden of oppression had passed from religious and racial minorities to unborn children and pure-hearted heterosexuals engaged in “traditional marriage.”

All your Weather are Belong to Us

So sayeth Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum.
More Santorum fun. Oldie, but a goodie.