George Michael

So, George Michael tapped this:

After being caught in the bushes with a unemployed 58 year old van driver, complete with a stained mattress in the back, the tabloid followed him to his house:

Meanwhile his new buddy Kirtland crept from the undergrowth looking sheepish and rushed to his Ford Transit van. As he opened the door a grubby, stained mattress was clearly visible in the back.
We later tracked him to his home 60 miles away—a squalid flat in Brighton, East Sussex.
Looking gross and dishevelled, Kirtland answered the door naked — pulling on grimy shorts as he invited us in.
[…]
Kirtland’s dingy place just off Brighton seafront, was littered with rubbish, dirty crockery and filthy laundry. His only companion is a 20-year-old cat.

Good gravy, were I a tabloid, I’d have like 5 guys on GM watch 24/7. It really doesn’t get any better than this…