I Swear I Didn’t Do It
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Preliminary tests on a white, powdery substance found in the mailroom of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist indicate the presence of the deadly substance ricin, a Homeland Security official said Monday.
On Janet’s Boob…
Seriously, what the hell is everyone so worked up about? The FCC is launching an investigation for Christ’s sake! Now that’s important government business. Maybe if it were some white woman’s titty, we wouldn’t be all up in such a tissy. But I digress…
“They’re breasts mamma, and every woman’s got ’em!”
Let’s put things in perspective: professional athletes are currently on trial for rape and murder. Movie stars and music artists arrive at every award show in some state of undress. Who can forget Lil’ Kim at the MTV Music Awards and then Dianna Ross actually fondling it? (She was drunk, no doubt.) Every shirtless guy in clothing ads now has his pants riding below the hair line. Any kid walking down the Las Vegas strip sees hundreds of naked women ready to “massage” them in their hotel room. Janet’s own brother had sex with young boys! And I’m afraid your 12 year old has probably seen more melons than just cantaloupes on the Internet. Hell, the ads were more racy. And you’re worried about a long-shot of Janet’s dirty pillow? BFD!
CBS finger pointed to MTV who produced the show, MTV claimed ignorance. Like that makes a dif — they’re both owned by Viacom. Of course, MTV promised something “shocking” before the show then capitalized on it afterwards, and TiVo even jumped in the foray today claiming it was replayed a record number of times by it’s DVR owners. Justin claimed it was some sort of “wardrobe malfunction.” (Houston, we have a problem!) But Janet finally admitted it was, indeed, planned.
Best I can figure, this is all over one nipple. Were Janet sporting a pastie, we’d all be fine and we could all go back to our nice Christian lives. But now our children are destroyed, and the FCC will burn a few mil “investigating” the incident. Let me save them some time: her breast was exposed on TV. End of story.
Look people, get a grip. You’re way too uptight. Maybe if you all looked at more boobs (including nipples), you’d be a bit more relaxed and move on to more pressing matters. Oh, say for example, the excessive amounts of gratuitous violence that permeates every movie, TV show, and news hour?
At any rate, and it’s not like I watch football, the game was good… down to the wire. Natch, I only watched for Jake Delhomme.
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