Damn! I missed Protection From Pornography Week!

By proclamation of the “President” of the United States of America:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 26 through November 1, 2003, as Protection From Pornography Week. I call upon public officials, law enforcement officers, parents, and all the people of the United States to observe this week with appropriate programs and activities.

Why Mr. Bush doesn’t like pornography is a bit of a mystery to me. It’s a private unregulated industry depicting his constituency (plumbers, truck drivers, pool boys, Maytag repair men) enjoying something he obviously enjoys doing every day (screwing the hell outta someone). So go figure.
You may be disappointed to know you probably also missed
National Character Counts Week in which “we must promote a culture of service, citizenship, and responsibility in our Nation” (mmm, Orwellian!) and the homophobic Marriage Protection Week.